Winning the Ultimate Game, Naturally ^©

“Using natural behavior to form a horse – human partnership”

By J F Johns

Life is a journey full of mysterious detours and partnerships that I could never have imagined even in my wildest dreams. This book is the true story of a natural horsemanship journey and the horse – human partnership resulting from one of those unplanned detours. Rocky was a very angry horse when we bought him in 2003. I didn’t understand what Rocky was trying to tell me with his expressions; but, I did understand that he could be very aggressive toward humans when he was angry. Rocky was screaming for help and no one was listening. Christi Rains and the Parelli Natural Horsemanship training materials taught me to listen to Rocky and help him work through his angry emotions. This book is a training manual documenting the natural horsemanship methods that I used to understand Rocky and his innate left brained introverted personality so that we could bond with a powerful horse – human partnership.

Winning the Ultimate Game, Naturally

Reproduction or use without express permission, of editorial or pictorial content, in any manner is prohibited. While every precaution has been taken in the preparation of this book, the author and publisher assume no responsibility for errors or omissions. Neither is any liability assumed for damages resulting from the use of the information contained herein.

Copyright © 2011 by J. F. Johns, Tioga, Texas

All rights reserved.

ISBN: 978-1-105-11090-0

Printed in the United States of America.

Related books by the author

Romance Meets Reality Beneath the Lake

Some of the horse training experiences in this book have been woven into a historical fiction mystery for those that would like to read the material in a more interesting venue. The title of the mystery is: Romance Meets Reality Beneath the Lake.

This book is dedicated to the natural partnership between animals and humans. Understanding the theme of romance versus reality is an important aspect of providing forever homes for animals. The contrast between the romance and the reality of developing a natural horse and human partnership is explored in this book.

Here is a summary of the book.

The devastating Texas drought of 2011 causes hardships for all living things. Secrets of the past are exposed as the lakes go dry. The skeleton beneath the lake has secrets extending back in history to the suffering endured by German immigrants who escaped the persecution of Bismarck in the 1870’s. A modern Texas rancher faces the challenges of the drought as she unravels the secrets that have been hidden beneath the lake for decades. The natural partnership between the rancher, a Tennessee Walking Horse, and a German Shepherd dog is key to surviving the drought and discovering the clues needed to understand the mystery surrounding the skeleton buried beneath the lake.

Winning the Ultimate Game, Naturally ^©

“Using natural behavior to form a horse – human partnership”

By J F Johns

Prologue

Life is a journey full of mysterious detours and partnerships that I could never have imagined even in my wildest dreams. This book is the true story of a natural horsemanship journey and the horse – human partnership resulting from one of those unplanned detours. Rio Bravo Rocky Road (known as Rocky) is a very proud and dominant Tennessee Walking Horse. His natural mastery of the dominance games and left brained thinking skills would enable him to survive under extreme conditions in the wild. Unfortunately, Rocky’s natural drive to be the dominant member of every relationship led to some very dangerous and aggressive behavior toward humans.

I learned to play and win the ultimate game of dominance using natural horsemanship techniques with Rocky. Actually, Rocky and I are both winners of the dominance game because of the strong bond and partnership we formed during our natural horsemanship journey. Along the way, Rocky lost a lot of angry emotional baggage and became a happy horse willing to form a horse – human partnership. Instead of greeting me with his attitude of “I am ready to beat you in the dominance games today”, he eagerly trots to meet me in the pasture to see what the new day has to offer us. Rocky is finally happy living the life of a horse with his human partner. This change has made all of my sweat and tears along the natural horsemanship detour worthwhile.

The Natural Horsemanship Transformation

Rocky is a beautiful black Tennessee Walking Horse with a fantastic rocking chair canter. He has obviously been around people most of his life and loves human attention. In 2003 when we bought Rocky, he had good ground manners and was not difficult to catch, groom, bridle, saddle, or wash. Unfortunately, he could also become very aggressive toward humans. At the time, I did not understand the anger he was experiencing. When his anger surfaced, he became very dangerous to himself and the humans around him.

The photo on the left shows a very angry Rocky on the 4^th of July in 2004. My daughter and her friends had decorated their horses to celebrate Independence Day. They put red, white, and blue ribbons in his mane and tail. The photo on the right shows a happy, well-adjusted Rocky standing in our pond in the summer of 2010. These photos illustrate Rocky’s amazing transformation from a very angry horse to a happy well-adjusted horse.

Rocky had the angry expression in the photo on the left frequently when we bought him in 2003. I didn’t understand what Rocky was trying to tell me with his expression; but, I did understand that he could be very aggressive toward humans when he was angry. Rocky was screaming for help and no one was listening. Christi Rains and the Parelli Natural Horsemanship training materials taught me to listen to Rocky and help him work through his angry emotions. I learned to understand Rocky and use natural approaches suited for his innate left brained introverted personality.

This book chronicles our natural horsemanship journey through this transformation. I am a very private person and don’t normally share my innermost thoughts and fears with others. I hope sharing our journey can help others have a smoother transformation. The journey and the resulting transformation are definitely worth all of the work and tears.

Winning the Ultimate Game, Naturally ^©

Just imagine, the majestic horse stands 15 ½ hands at the shoulder (his shoulder is taller than you) and he weighs in at 1100 pounds. He is 20 feet in front of you and facing you.  You have just sent him there, hoping for a few seconds of dwell time to collect your thoughts in the hot sun and wipe the stinging sweat from your eyes.  His tail suddenly makes a quick swish and he simultaneously pins his tense ears back, his eyes harden, his nostrils tense up, and he charges directly at you.  NO time to think! What do you do? 

He was only 20 feet away and now he is closing in fast. His first giant stride puts him halfway to you. You can’t run – he would be on top of you with his next powerful stride. You don’t have time to shorten the lead rope.  You pivot into a power position with both feet firmly on the ground, bend your knees slightly, and lower your center of gravity.  You try to send a wave of energy down the lead rope as you swing the carrot stick into position between you and the charging horse.  Once the carrot stick is making a barrier between you and the charging horse, you put a determined look on your face and vigorously march toward the horse.  Remember to keep making the carrot stick barrier and as you advance shorten the lead rope, if you can.  When he sees the carrot stick won’t let him bite you, he tries to rear and use his front hooves. You stretch up to raise the carrot stick barrier up to match his height and keep moving toward him. You can make a barrier to match his rearing height with your arm reach and the 4 foot long carrot stick. He pivots to your left side to avoid the carrot stick barrier and swings around to face you. He is ready to continue the fight! You give him a stern warning look and firmly hold the carrot stick ready for his next move. This event took less than 5 seconds but it seemed like an eternity to you. He doesn’t like it but you won this round of the dominance game.

You won this battle in the ultimate game without physical contact – you won by learning psychology (“Horsenality™”) and how to apply it to overcome aggressive acts of dominance. This book chronicles the Natural Horsemanship journey of Rocky and Janet as we develop our horse and human partnership. Janet shares their experiences to help others not only survive but to learn to be a winner in the ultimate game of dominance.

Dedication

I literally owe my life to Christi Rains for guiding me on the natural horsemanship journey with a very dominate left brained horse. She helped me understand Rocky’s true nature, become the leader he needed, and develop a positive relationship with him. In doing so, she saved not only my life but gave Rocky the opportunity to live a full and happy life. With her guidance, we developed a horse and human partnership.

Rocky and I are grateful to Pat and Linda Parelli who have the rare ability to articulate and share their natural horsemanship knowledge and skills with the world.

I appreciate my loving husband for his emotional support and for just being there when I needed someone.

I am grateful for the friendship and support of my North Texas Parelli horse buddies and my old stable buddies. Lisa Carter took many of the photos in this book and provided encouragement during Christi’s camps. I would never have been able to hang in there without all these great horse buddies.

I appreciate my parents for teaching me to take life’s hard times in stride and find a way to make the best of a bad situation.

I appreciate Rocky for being patient with me while I learned to become his partner.

Rocky and I are grateful to my daughter Cody Anne for starting us on this journey.

Table of Contents

Prologue. i

The Natural Horsemanship Transformation. ii

Winning the Ultimate Game, Naturally ^©. iii

Chapter 1 Background. 1

Buying the Perfect Horse. 2

Buying our First Horse. 3

Warning Signs. 3

The 30 second rule. 5

Catching was TOO EASY.. 5

A girl’s best friend is a pocket full of pebbles. 6

Fix it from the saddle. 6

Chapter 2 Why play this ultimate game?. 7

Chapter 3 Learning with Parelli 8

The Relationship. 9

The Transformation. 10

Chapter 4 A “Rocky” Start with Parelli Level 1. 12

Natural Horsemanship gear. 12

A Scary start with “The Carrot Stick”. 12

Frightening attempts at Level 1. 12

Desperate for HELP.. 14

Chapter 5 Parelli Level 1. 15

Safety FIRST.. 15

Parelli Games. 15

Friendly and Porcupine Games. 16

Savvy String is a great Fly Swatter. 17

Effective Phases. 18

Driving Game. 18

Dwell Time. 19

Circling Game. 20

Sideways Game. 22

Handling Sensitivities. 23

Food Aggression. 25

Slowing a GO Horse. 25

This is NOT Fiction. 27

Chapter 6 A “Rocky” Relationship. 28

Clash of the Left Brains. 28

Anatomy of a Sneak Attack. 29

Anatomy of The Charge. 31

Why did Rocky Back Down?. 33

Chapter 7 Parelli Level 2. 35

Parelli Games in Level 2. 35

Reading Rocky’s Attitude. 36

The Ears Say it All 39

Liberty Bridling Task. 40

Mirroring. 40

Rocky is Grumpy when Hungry. 45

Variety is the Spice of Life. 45

Learning to Ride. 47

Proper Preparation for Riding. 47

The Storm.. 49

Calm after the Storm.. 51

Riding with a regular Saddle. 55

Bareback Riding. 56

Chapter 8 Parelli Horsenality Strategies. 61

Horsenality Leadership Strategies. 61

Interrupting Old Patterns. 64

Circling Challenges. 64

Falling Leaf Challenges. 67

Proper Riding Preparation. 70

Chapter 9 Parelli Level 3. 73

Driving with the 45 foot Line. 73

Sideways with the 45 foot Line. 74

Jumping with the 45 foot Line. 74

Falling Leaf 76

Circling on the 45 foot line. 78

On Line Games. 81

Liberty is OUR Game. 82

Carrot Stick and Bridleless Riding. 86

Level 3 Assessments. 88

Chapter 10 Retrospection. 90

Stress is a Killer. 90

Life Begins with an Effective Phase 4. 91

Trust Takes TWO.. 91

Respect Does Not Transfer. 92

Personal Lessons Learned. 92

Horse and Human Partnership Lessons Learned. 93

Parelli’s Eight Responsibilities. 93

Epilogue. 95

My Partner, Rocky. 95

Parelli Horsenality Positive Attributes. 96

Fun activities. 96

Rocky, Enjoying Life as a Horse. 98

A Portrait of Partners. 103

Our Parelli Certificates. 104

List of Tables

Table 1 Introduction to Parelli Games. 13

Table 2 Parelli Games in Level 1. 16

Table 3 Approach and Retreat 17

Table 4 Level 1 Driving Techniques. 18

Table 5 My Relaxation Phases. 20

Table 6 Rocky’s Relaxation Phases. 20

Table 7 Parelli Level 2 Harmony Assessment 35

Table 8 Parelli Games in Level 2. 36

Table 9 Mirroring. 43

Table 10 Riding Preparation Tests for Rocky. 49

Table 11 Calming The Storm.. 55

Table 12 Playing Games after The Storm.. 55

Table 13 Left Brained Difficulties and Rocky. 64

List of Figures

Figure 1 Horse Buying Cycle. 2

Figure 2 Rocky Dressed Up for Kids Camp. 5

Figure 3 Our Parelli Levels Progress. 8

Figure 4 Parelli Program Updates. 8

Figure 5 Rocky's Horsenality Profile Before Parelli 9

Figure 6 Rocky's Horsenality Profile After Parelli Level 2. 10

Figure 7 The Transformation. 11

Figure 8 Parelli Level 1 Gear. 12

Figure 9 Approach and Retreat with Rocky. 17

Figure 10 Driving Rocky Effectively. 19

Figure 11 Dwell Time after Driving. 19

Figure 12 Relaxing Together. 20

Figure 13 Angry Rocky on a Circle. 21

Figure 14 Wave of Energy on 12 ft Rope. 21

Figure 15 Drawn in with a Happier Face. 22

Figure 16 Dwell Time Reward. 22

Figure 17 Basic Sideways with a Fence. 23

Figure 18 Starting Sideways over an Object 23

Figure 19 Approach and Retreat with a Scary Hula Hoop. 24

Figure 20 Approach and Retreat to Stand in a Scary Hula Hoop. 24

Figure 21 Calmly Walking the Cone Events Bareback. 26

Figure 22 Calmly Walking the Poles Bareback. 26

Figure 23 Calmly Walking the Barrels Bareback. 27

Figure 24 Reading Rocky's Attitude. 29

Figure 25 Driving Back Seems OK.. 30

Figure 26 Sneak Attack. 30

Figure 27 Driven Back after Sneak Attack. 31

Figure 28 The Charge. 32

Figure 29 Stopping the Charge. 32

Figure 30 Calm Down after the Charge. 33

Figure 31 Driving Game. 37

Figure 32 Circling while Seated on Ground. 37

Figure 33 Angry Emotions about Liberty Circles. 38

Figure 34 Rocky with Angry Circling Emotions. 38

Figure 35 Rocky Calm after Emotional Circling. 38

Figure 36 Circling Obstacles is More Fun. 39

Figure 37 Liberty Bridling Task with Hackamore Halter. 40

Figure 38 Dwell Time After Liberty Bridling. 40

Figure 39 Learning to Mirror Rocky. 41

Figure 40 Mirroring on the Alert and Moving. 41

Figure 41 Mirroring Relaxing in the Shade. 42

Figure 42 Checking the Ears while Mirroring. 42

Figure 43 Mirroring a Frown. 42

Figure 44 Mirroring Before Riding. 44

Figure 45 Mirroring Energy Level before Riding. 44

Figure 46 Mirroring on the RUN.. 45

Figure 47 Using Hills to Spice Up Circling. 46

Figure 48 Using Barrels and a Chair to Spice Up Circling. 46

Figure 49 Mirroring and Dwell Time After Circling. 47

Figure 50 YoYo Through Obstacles while Seated. 47

Figure 51 Rocky Calmly Following Me at Liberty in Riding Preparations. 48

Figure 52 Riding Preparations Liberty Drive Back and Draw at Trot 48

Figure 53 Bucking Under Saddle Scene 1. 50

Figure 54 Bucking Under Saddle Scene 2. 51

Figure 55 Rocky Calms down Quickly After Bucking. 52

Figure 56 Slow Liberty Circles Around Barrels. 52

Figure 57 Slow Liberty Sideways. 53

Figure 58 Liberty Squeeze Jump. 53

Figure 59 Emotional Posture during Bucking Episode. 54

Figure 60 Calm Liberty Circles after Bucking Episodes. 54

Figure 61 Learning Sideways over an Obstacle. 56

Figure 62 Trail Riding with Saddle and Carrot Stick. 56

Figure 63 Riding in the 4th of July Parade. 56

Figure 64 Riding Bareback with Obstacles. 57

Figure 65 Riding Bareback Sideways Over Obstacle. 58

Figure 66 Standing Quietly. 58

Figure 67 Slow Walks and Trots. 59

Figure 68 Riding on the Pedestal 60

Figure 69 Parelli Leadership Strategies. 61

Figure 70 Riding with Purpose: Checking out the Feeders and Eating Hay. 62

Figure 71 Riding with Purpose: Grazing and Herding Chickens. 62

Figure 72 Parelli Horsenality and the Seven Games. 63

Figure 73 Rocky Starting out on the Circle. 65

Figure 74 An Emotional Rocky on the Circle. 65

Figure 75 Keeping Rocky at a Safe Distance on the Circle. 66

Figure 76 Waiting to Change Directions on the Circle. 66

Figure 77 Calmer After a Direction Change on the Circle. 67

Figure 78 Starting Falling Leaf 67

Figure 79 Stress during Direction Changes. 68

Figure 80 Keeping a Safe Distance during Falling Leaf 68

Figure 81 More Stress during Direction Changes. 69

Figure 82 Refusing to Change Direction. 69

Figure 83 Dwell Time after Falling Leaf 70

Figure 84 Unhappy Circling before Riding. 70

Figure 85 Slow Happy Circle before Riding. 71

Figure 86 Dwell Time and Communication before Riding. 71

Figure 87 Sideways Walk Riding Preparation. 72

Figure 88 Driving from Zone 5. 73

Figure 89 Sideways with the 45 Foot Line. 74

Figure 90 Jumping Fun with Logs. 75

Figure 91 Jumping Logs with the 45 foot line. 75

Figure 92 Dwell Time and Mirroring after Jumping. 76

Figure 93 Slow Falling Leaf 76

Figure 94 Energetic Direction Change in Falling Leaf 77

Figure 95 Asking for the Turn. 77

Figure 96 Rocky Calm after the Turn. 77

Figure 97 Calm after Falling Leaf 78

Figure 98 Rocky Circling on 45 foot line. 78

Figure 99 Change of Direction on the Circle. 79

Figure 100 Rocky Circling. 79

Figure 101 My Poor Rope Skills. 80

Figure 102 Circling on the 45 Foot Line. 80

Figure 103 Rocky Calm after Circling. 81

Figure 104 Dwell Time after Circling. 81

Figure 105 Asking Rocky to Weave Cones. 82

Figure 106 YoYo through Obstacles. 82

Figure 107 Friendly Reward during Liberty. 83

Figure 108 Liberty Running through the Cones. 83

Figure 109 Liberty Coaxing Rocky through Cones. 84

Figure 110 Liberty Barrel Jumping. 85

Figure 111 Rocky on Pedestal 85

Figure 112 Bonding with Rocky on Pedestal 86

Figure 113 Playing Games while Carrot Stick Riding. 86

Figure 114 Freestyle Riding. 87

Figure 115 Freestyle Jumping. 88

Figure 116 Partners at last 95

Figure 117 Parelli Horsenality Positive Attributes Chart 96

Figure 118 Mirroring with a Dancer. 97

Figure 119 The Equus Projects Experience. 98

Figure 120 Freedom in the Snow.. 99

Figure 121 Freedom in the Pasture. 100

Figure 122 Happy Ears Say it ALL.. 101

Figure 123 Enjoying a Moonlit Ride behind our House. 102

Figure 124 Rocky with his Herd. 102

Figure 125 Portrait of Partners. 103

Figure 126 Parelli Level 1 Certificate. 104

Figure 127 Parelli Level 2 Certificate. 104

Figure 128 Parelli Level 3 Liberty Certificate. 105

Figure 129 Parelli Level 3 Online Certificate. 105

Figure 130 Parelli Level 3 Freestyle Certificate. 106

Chapter 1 Background

At the seasoned age of 48, I became the naïve owner of a horse. I am one of those rare people that had never dreamed of owning or riding horses. My daughter, Cody Anne, was eight years old when we became horse owners. Cody Anne was one of those little girls who continuously asked for a pony from the day she learned to talk. She loved animals and our routine outings usually included some sort of animal activity. Cody had to ride the pony at every petting zoo and animal park we visited.

When Cody Anne was 7, we reluctantly let her take horseback riding lessons at the local stable. We quickly realized horse ownership was the only way for her to understand how to care for and truly develop a relationship with a horse. Cody Anne also continuously expressed her plans to be a veterinarian and help animals. As parents, we realized that Cody Anne needed to know first-hand about nurturing and caring for animals to make sure she really wanted to pursue a career as a veterinarian. This is how Rio Bravo Rocky Road (known as Rocky) joined our family.

Buying the Perfect Horse

The decision to buy a horse is a life changing decision. We had many family discussions about the life long commitment needed to care for a horse. These commitments were not just monetary but also caring for the physical and emotional needs of a living being.

Before buying a horse, we observed many of our stable friends purchase the perfect horse and descend into a cruel cycle of

· Buy the horse of your dreams.

· Realize the horse has problems and needs training.

· Send the horse to a trainer.

· Enjoy the newly trained horse for a few weeks.

· Realize the horse is broken again and needs to be fixed.

· Sell the broken horse and buy a better one.

Figure 1 Horse Buying Cycle

We were determined not to descend into this cruel spiral and were committed to do whatever was necessary to make sure Cody Anne and her horse had a long-term positive relationship.

Buying our First Horse

We quickly learned why the term “horse trader” is a justifiable insult. Unfortunately, our personal experience is typical of many new horse owners. Here is the common sequence of events associated with buying the first horse:

· The horse owner has a difficult horse and needs to find a naïve buyer.

· The horse is boarded at a stable where children take riding lessons.

· The horse is perfectly happy and well-behaved grazing in the stable pasture.

· The horse owner reluctantly announces they must sell the horse. In our case, the horse owner developed severe back problems and would never be able to ride again. The owner seemed genuinely upset about her situation.

· Your child falls in love with the horse and begs you to buy the horse.

· You have the veterinarian check the horse.

· There doesn’t seem to be any negative qualities with the horse.

· You buy the horse for your child and quickly realize this is the most dangerous mistake you have ever made.

· Your new horse’s prior owner miraculously recovers and is riding a new horse.

· You are in absolute shock about the level of deceit exhibited by some people and their total lack of guilt about selling an animal they couldn’t handle to a child.

Warning Signs

I grew up on a family farm raising cattle and hogs so I am very familiar with handling large livestock. I quickly realized Rocky was creating dangerous situations for himself and the humans around him. You may wonder “what were the warning signs?” Here are some of the most troubling warning signs:

· Food aggression. Rocky did not like people to be near him while he ate sweet feed or hay in his stall area. I was standing near Rocky while he was eating hay one day and he bit me in the stomach. I had a huge swollen hard hematoma bigger than my fist for months. I was shocked that he would bite me without any apparent provocation that I could recognize on my part. I was afraid he would bite someone else (especially my daughter) in the same manner.

· Biting. Fortunately, for everyone else, Rocky only bit me. Rocky did not nip – he would bite with the full force of his teeth. When he did make contact, I would have hematomas and deep muscle swellings that lasted for weeks. The injuries from his bites were bigger than my fist. I know horses bite one another all the time, but this s a dangerous situation for people. I was especially concerned that Rocky would bite the children that loved to pet him and give him treats.

· Kicking. When Rocky didn’t want me around, he would swing his hind quarters toward me and kick. He would also jump up and kick out with his hind legs when he galloped away from me. This is natural behavior with other horses, but I was afraid he would actually make contact and hurt someone.

· Cowgirl at the rodeo. I thought it would help develop a relationship with Rocky if I took some riding lessons with him. This had the opposite effect and made our relationship far worse. Our rides would begin calm and then explode. My extreme experiences riding Rocky include runaway galloping rides, being bucked off, and rides described by observers as the equivalent of rodeo quality bucking bronc rides. There are photos of Rocky bucking under saddle in Chapter 7. The bucking section in Chapter 7 is called “The Storm” and shows how much energy Rocky has when he bucks under saddle. I must give Rocky credit for NEVER doing this with my daughter.

· Kick butt to the death. Yes, kicking is a natural horse behavior but it was apparent that Rocky had the willpower to fight this battle to the death. Every morning, Rocky and a Belgian draft horse would fight for dominance. They would kick one another with their hind legs until Rocky was knocked to the ground. He usually got up and tried again until the Belgian got bored and left him. I heard people say the Belgian would eventually kill him if he did not give in. He never did. We had to separate Rocky from the Belgian. One fence of separation was not enough; they would kick one another through the fence. Several times, I had to cut him out of the slick wire and have the vet treat the wounds on his legs.

You may wonder how I did not see these signs prior to purchasing Rocky and that is an excellent question. I have thought long and hard about it and spent many sleepless nights devoted to that same question. You must remember that all of these events occurred before I understood much about horse behavior and before Pat Parelli starting introducing his Horsenality concepts in 2006.

Rocky is great lawn art. He is a beautiful horse and has obviously been around people most of his life. He loved being fed treats by all the kids. In general, Rocky had good ground manners and was not difficult to catch, groom, bridle, saddle, or wash.

Rocky never exhibited aggressive behavior toward my daughter or the other children at the stable. I am eternally grateful that Rocky never viewed my daughter as a threat to his dominance. While he was grazing in the pasture, he didn’t mind anything my daughter did. She could walk up to Rocky and crawl up this mane to sit on him bareback without a halter in the pasture. My daughter rode Rocky in her horseback riding lessons and didn’t have any behavior problems with him. Rocky was used for children’s riding lessons and the following photo shows Rocky after the children dressed him up during a riding camp in the summer of 2004.

I realized that before we bought Rocky, he didn’t have any reason to behave badly at the stable because very few people interacted with him other than to feed him. He didn’t have anyone that asked him to do anything that he didn’t want to do. His prior owner did not come to the stable to visit him. The stable manager didn’t present a challenge for him. She put him in a stall at night, gave him food, and put him in the pasture in the morning. Kids taking riding lessons didn’t present a challenge to Rocky’s dominance – they were happy to groom him, give him treats, and let him pick the pace – he was in charge and getting treats too. He got to be with the other horses at the stable and didn’t have any human challenges to his dominance. That is, until I came into his life and unwittingly became his sparring partner in the dominance game.

Figure 2 Rocky Dressed Up for Kids Camp

The 30 second rule

Have you ever heard the 30 second rule? Many people suggested there was a 30 second rule with horse behavior. They said I had 30 seconds to punish Rocky after a bad behavior or he would never learn. Even at the time, it seemed like such an arbitrary and odd rule. That horse could remember which stall was his, where the food buckets were located, which kids usually brought treats, which door of the truck had the treat bag, and a whole list of other things for longer than 30 seconds. How could he possibly not remember biting me for longer than 30 seconds?

Another idea presented to me was that he only bites because he expects a treat so you shouldn’t give him treats anymore. Withholding treats did not change his behavior so I was back to trying the 30 second rule.

Personally, I have a problem with physical punishment. I raised my daughter by rewarding good behavior, removing privileges for poor behavior, and never resorting to violence. Like many people, I am not prone to violence and had never slapped another human being or animal. Would slapping Rocky when he bit me stop the behavior? Absolutely NOT. I am ashamed to say that I actually tried slapping him on the neck in response to his attempts to bite and it only escalated the dominance games to a totally new level! He grew more aggressive.

Catching was TOO EASY

Many horses don’t like being caught to be saddled and ridden. The owner must play the “catching game” to get close enough to the horse to halter them. Rocky was always easy to catch. He would look me square in the eyes and wait when I approached him in the pasture. Initially, I thought this was a friendly gesture on his part. I was so wrong! He was plotting how to fight and win the next round of the dominance game.

I never had any trouble putting the halter or bridle on Rocky. I would walk up to him in the pasture and put the halter on him without any problems. Most people lead their horse with the horse trailing behind them. I quickly learned to NOT do that unless I wanted to risk being bitten from behind.

A girl’s best friend is a pocket full of pebbles

In addition to biting, his aggressive behavior started to include attempts to kick with those powerful hind legs. It may sound like a cliché, but both of our lives were at stake. Rocky could easily kill me with one swift kick and his future was bleak if he did not stop this behavior. I noticed Rocky and other horses in the pasture biting one another on the hind end all of the time. I developed the habit of picking up small round rocks in the parking lot as I approached the horse pasture. If he tried to swing his hind legs around toward me, I would toss a rock at his hind quarters. When I first started this, Rocky was startled and seemed confused about what was happening but he quickly got out of the kicking habit. Today, he has a fantastic hind quarter yield.

Fix it from the saddle

People said it was easier to handle a horse from the saddle. This advice didn’t sound right to me but others had a lot more experience than I did and must know more than I did. Please remember that Rocky was our first horse and I had ZERO riding experience. I am only 5 foot tall and Rocky is 15 ½ hands high so getting in the saddle is a challenge without a mounting block. Rocky stood still while I got on so I decided to try more riding with the mistaken idea that sitting in the saddle would give me some advantage. I had a lot of wild, scary rides because of this advice.

Chapter 2 Why play this ultimate game?

Why would a 48 year old woman play the ultimate game with an 1100 pound master of the dominance game?

I wanted my daughter to understand commitment. This may sound old fashioned but we live in a disposable society where everything can be thrown away and replaced with a newer model – spouses, cars, cell phones, pets -- everything. Prior to purchasing Rocky, we as a family agreed that owning a horse was a life long commitment. We had seen people churn horses because something was always wrong with the horse. We agreed not to treat the horse as a disposable toy but as a living being to be respected. What kind of commitment lesson would I be teaching my daughter if I were to sell Rocky?

There were many days that it took every ounce of courage that I could muster to go into the pasture with Rocky. But, I had nagging doubts that maybe I somehow caused the horse behavior problems and if that was true then it was my responsibility to correct the problem. I am life long learner and was certainly willing to learn new skills.

The general pattern of Rocky’s biting behavior seemed to be:

· everything is fine

· sudden quick bite or attempt to bite

· retreat and wait for my response.

This behavior was dangerous, but didn’t seem to signal that his intent was to actually kill me. It seemed more like he was attempting to get my attention or to set a boundary. I had two choices, avoid it by selling him or deal with it. As a mother, I had read a lot of literature about toddler behavior and how to handle aggressive behavior (biting and hitting) with talking about consequences, timeouts, and holding your toddler so they can’t bite or hit. There didn’t seem to be any way to talk, use timeouts, or restrain Rocky.

My biggest fear was that Rocky would hurt my daughter or someone else. My husband was convinced Rocky would probably end up as dog food if we were to sell him or give him away. Anyway, we would not pass an animal we could not handle to someone else.

What were the options? We considered sending Rocky to a trainer and talked to a lot of experienced horse people. I was appalled that most of the trainers would not or could not describe their methods or why their methods worked. Based on my observations of the disappointment others experienced after their horses returned from the trainer, I decided sending Rocky to a trainer was not a viable option.

The stable manager suggested a self training program called Parelli. She didn’t know much about it but knew several people that liked it. I researched the Parelli approach and was impressed with the idea of a documented curriculum and training tasks for both the owner and the horse. In the Fall of 2003, I bought the Parelli Level 1 program and we (Rocky and I) began the natural horsemanship journey.

Chapter 3 Learning with Parelli

The following figure shows our progress.

The following timeline shows our progress through the Parelli Natural Horsemanship levels as we worked on our horse and human partnership.

Figure 3 Our Parelli Levels Progress

The following timeline shows the Parelli program was expanding and maturing as we worked our way through Levels 1 and 2. “Horsenality™” is the term Pat Parelli uses to describe how to understand a horse by analyzing the horse’s personality type. Each horse personality (Horsenality) is associated with the innate behaviors of a horse and Parelli has suggested methods to teach each horse based on their individual Horsenality.

Figure 4 Parelli Program Updates

You can see that much of our progress through Parelli Level 2 was tied to the development of Horsenality. I could finally associate Rocky’s behavior with his innate needs and develop a set of effective responses. I learned to read Rocky’s behavior and apply effective responses so that we could finally make progress in our relationship.

After our rocky start (pun intended), I had a difficult time trusting Rocky not to hurt me and trusting myself to be able to handle difficult situations. Horsenality helped me overcome my trust issues because I understood a lot more about Rocky’s real needs.

The Relationship

The follwing figure shows our progress through the Parelli levels.

The following charts show the Parelli Horsenality Profiles. I used red checkmarks to indicate Rocky’s characteristics. The first chart shows Rocky’s profile before we did Levels 1 and 2. The right brain traits checked for Rocky were not the typical fear response of a right brained horse but rather the cold calculating acts of aggression associated with a confident left brained horse. His tendency to rear was to attack in anger, not an act of fear. The second chart is his profile after we completed Level 2.

Figure 5 Rocky's Horsenality Profile Before Parelli[1]

We spent a lot of time developing our relationship and learning to trust one another. I spent a lot of time just wandering around the pasture with Rocky while he ate. Rocky would follow me around the pasture while I did chores like cutting weeds out of the fence row and dragging fallen limbs out of the pasture.

We became devotees of the friendly game. I discovered Rocky’s favorite scratching spots and he started telling me where he wanted to be scratched. He started walking up to me and bending his head toward me to indicate that ear needed to be scratched. He would bend his head and use his nose to point to itchy areas on his body or legs for me to scratch. He would also point to pesky horse flies that he couldn’t remove himself.

Instead of waiting in the pasture with a defiant look as I approach him, Rocky now crosses the pasture to meet me and see what we are going to do. I often saddle him and just sit on him for hours while he eats hay or grazes in the pasture. We spent 5 long years mastering the lessons in Levels 1 and 2 to get to this point, but we finally developed the skills and relationship needed to pass Level 2.

Figure 6 Rocky's Horsenality Profile After Parelli Level 2[2]

Rocky definitely exhibits the left brained Introvert trait of “what is in it for me?” I must continuously find new ways for him to get positive reinforcements like scratching, quiet time, and of course FOOD. I have to be very creative to make sure Rocky isn’t bored. When he is bored, he is very disinterested in anything but food. In the remainder of this book, I have tried to provide examples of keeping the left brained introvert interested and not bored by our activities.

The Transformation

The following photos show Rocky’s transformation from a very angry horse in 2004 to the happy well-adjusted horse he is today. I chose these two photos of Rocky’s head to illustrate the massive transformation that Rocky has experienced. Rocky had the expression in the photo on the left frequently when we bought him. I called it his “unhappy face” because I didn’t understand what he was trying to tell me.

Figure 7 The Transformation

When we first bought Rocky, I did not have a clue about the level of anger and unhappiness he was experiencing. In my search for help with Rocky, I bought nearly every horse book in the bookstore and scoured the Internet for help. I talked to a lot of people and observed a lot of horses in many different settings. Not a single book, website, or expert provided a clue about the massive quantity of angry emotion Rocky was exhibiting in the photo on the left.

Rocky was screaming for help and no one was listening.

I didn’t understand what Rocky was trying to tell me with his expression and his behavior; but, I did understand that he could be very aggressive toward humans and extremely dangerous when he was angry. Christi Rains and the Parelli Natural Horsemanship training materials taught me to listen to Rocky and help him work through his angry emotions. Parelli’s “Horsenality™” taught me to understand Rocky and how to use natural approaches suited for his innate left brained introverted personality.

Chapter 4 A “Rocky” Start with Parelli Level 1

Natural Horsemanship gear

In the Fall of 2003, the basic Parelli Level 1 kit included little brown instruction booklets, a VHS video tape, a halter with a 12 foot lead rope, a riding hackamore halter, and a carrot stick with a savvy string. I studied the books and started watching the VHS tape. The books provided progressive tasks that should be completed in a sequential order. Each task had step by step directions with a set of objections for the horse. I was especially interested in the troubleshooting tips for each task because Rocky never seemed to respond as described in the tasks.

Figure 8 Parelli Level 1 Gear[3]

A Scary start with “The Carrot Stick”

How did Rocky react to our new equipment? Using the halter was not a problem once I mastered tying it. When I brought out the carrot stick, Rocky reared up and grabbed the carrot stick with his mouth. He jerked the lead rope out of my hands and then galloped across the pasture to get as far away from me as he could. He dropped the stick on the ground and turned to face my direction. I had no idea what to do. The little brown books didn’t cover this reaction to the carrot stick but I certainly recognized that familiar defiant look. I now know his look was declaring he would fight any challenge to his dominance.

I walked slowly across the pasture to pick up the stick and lead rope. Rocky acted like he was going to attack me so I left the stick on the ground. I picked up the lead rope and walked Rocky back to the barn. I put him in his stall and then retrieved the carrot stick. I went home to study the little brown books some more and try to figure out what to do.

Frightening attempts at Level 1

Our first attempts at using the old Level 1 books were frightening. I am an engineer and know how to analyze situations, develop solutions, and follow instructions. I went through the lessons in order but Rocky’s responses didn’t seem to match the horses described in these books. Many times, I started over from the beginning to make sure I didn’t miss anything. I honestly tried to understand what was happening, why it was happening, and what actions I should take to make the situation better.

The following table lists the Parelli Games and provides examples of the kind of tasks you can do while playing each game. There are endless ways to use the basic idea of the games and develop fun activities to play while teaching your horse.

Table 1 Introduction to Parelli Games

Parelli Game	Type of Tasks	Examples of the Tasks
Friendly	Touch and rub the horse all over their body. Horse is comfortable no matter where you stand or touch.	Rub the horse with the carrot stick. Gently toss the carrot string over the horse. Use Extreme Friendly by vigorously hitting the ground with the carrot stick and string.
Porcupine	Follow your feel and yield to pressure.	Backup with pressure on the nose or chest. Sideways by alternating pressure on the shoulders and hind quarters.
Driving	Give directions and move the horse.	Drive horse backward. Yield the hindquarters. Yield the shoulders.
YoYo	Back the horse away and draw back to you.	Simple back up and draw. Back up over an obstacle like a pole.
Circling	Send the horse backward, allow the horse to circle, and come back to you.	Simple circles on a lead rope. Circling with obstacles requiring the horse to jump over barrels or trot over poles.
Sideways	Send the horse sideways.	Move sideways while straddling a pole.
Squeeze	Send the horse through small and narrow spaces.	Trailer loading or send the horse through a narrow space between you and a fence.

The driving tasks were another version of the biting game for us. He would bite me so fast when I least expected it that I didn’t see it coming. He moved so fast that I didn’t even see his ears go back before the bite. Other times Rocky would rear up, grab the carrot stick with his mouth, and gallop away with the carrot stick.

The YoYo game involves backing the horse away from you and then drawing the horse to you. This game offers a great opportunity for the horse to rear up and then lunge at you so he can bite you or steal the carrot stick. I was so stressed by these attacks that I resorted to standing in the middle of a hay ring to play the driving and yoyo games.

The circling game presents an irresistible opportunity to attack from the rear. Yes, some horses love to be sent on a circle so they can bite you on the back while you are standing still facing the other way. I quickly found out that Rocky relished a circling sneak attack while my back was turned. He also loved stealing the carrot stick – he would rush at me from behind, grab the carrot stick from my hands, and gallop away with the carrot stick. How desperate was I to avoid being attacked from behind? I started climbing onto a stack of big round hay bales to be out of his reach during the circling game.

I made the conscious decision to NEVER TURN MY BACK and RUN! This may sound really stupid and dangerous but I reasoned that he could easily outrun me and attack anyway. I would rather keep my eyes on him.

Those of you that have studied the new Parelli Horsenalities^TM realize that I was playing dominance games with a very dominant horse. These early lessons were teaching me to use dominant behavior with a horse that played the dominance games to win at all costs. Rocky responded in a natural way to defend the threats to his position of dominance. At that time, I had no idea – the little brown books didn’t say anything about this.

It took every ounce of courage that I could muster to work with Rocky while I tried desperately to find some knowledgeable help. During this time, I told my husband that we should make out our wills. We had a child and needed to make sure she was well cared for if anything happened to one or both of us. I made sure our wills included a medical power of attorney and a medical directive for life sustaining procedures. I am a firm believer that as long as there is life, there is hope so our medical directive instructions were “Do not pull the plug and keep alive”.

Desperate for HELP

At this point, many people thought I was a dangerous fool and that I was making Rocky mean. I was desperate to keep the situation from escalating even further out of control. I frantically searched for some help and found Christi Rains’ Parelli clinics. I immediately signed up for a Level 1 clinic. During the next year, I went to four Level 1 clinics and developed the skills needed to officially pass Level 1.

Back in 2003, the Parelli Level 1 curriculum focused on Safety. The Parelli Level 2 was called Harmony and was the beginning of Parelli’s focus on the horse relationship. I definitely viewed our Level 1 situation with Rocky as a safety problem to be solved.

Christi is a superb instructor with many years of experience. Her weekend training camps provided me with invaluable horsemanship skills. I always felt awkward introducing myself at the start of each camp. The other camp participants had wonderful and exciting plans for themselves and their horses. I had absolutely no plans to compete, do dressage, trail ride, or anything else. I just wanted to survive horse ownership and teach my daughter about commitment in the face of difficult situations. I usually introduced myself as a Mom who wanted to make our horse safe for my daughter.

Chapter 5 Parelli Level 1

Rocky went through a lot of emotions during our Parelli Level 1 activities. I spent a lot of time observing Rocky and the other horses. It was obvious that Level 1 presented Rocky with a lot of emotional challenges. He became a loner horse. He started hanging out by himself in the pasture and not grazing or playing with the other horses. I knew I was having an impact on him and I hoped it was a positive impact. Rocky was a horse with a natural charisma, high play drive, and energetic spirit. I certainly did not want to destroy Rocky’s basic nature in order to keep his human companions safe.

Safety FIRST

My top priority is safety and, for Rocky, this meant letting him know that I would defend my personal space so that he could not get close enough to bite. Wax-on and Wax-off became new buzz words for our family. Wax-on and Wax-off are defensive karate moves where you wave your arm between you and the opponent. Christi taught us how to use these moves. When Rocky attempted to barge into our personal space un-invited, we would wave our arms in a rhythmic arc so that he would hit an arm or sharp elbow before he could bite. You don’t focus on the horse; you are just moving your arms.

I learned to use the carrot stick like another appendage to establish my personal space. While walking with Rocky behind me, I would rhythmically move the carrot stick behind me (like a dog wagging his tail) in a horizontal arc over the ground. When Rocky was in front of me, I would rhythmically move the carrot stick to make a barrier between us. I would not focus on either Rocky or the carrot stick. If Rocky tried to barge into my space or get aggressive, then he would run into the barrier created by the carrot stick.

The main idea behind the karate moves (wax-on and wax-off) and using the carrot stick to establish your personal space is to let the horse know you have a personal space boundary. Horses defend their personal space so they understand this concept. Also, you are not being aggressive toward the horse. If the horse moves toward you, then the consequence of their action is that they run into a barrier (your arm or the carrot stick). Rocky grudgingly learned that I would defend my personal space and he started to respect my space.

Parelli Games

Parelli uses seven basic games throughout the program to develop the relationship between the horse and human. The games also teach the horse to RESPECT the human. The first three games are a foundation for all of the horse activities. The other four games build on the three foundation games so the games need to be mastered in sequence. The games and our Level 1 experiences are captured in the following table.

Table 2 Parelli Games in Level 1

Parelli Game	What the Parelli method teaches the horse	What I learned from playing the games with my horse
Friendly	The horse learns to trust you.	I learned to observe Rocky’s emotions and what made him feel good.
Porcupine	The horse learns to yield to pressure and move away from pressure.	I began to understand Rocky’s sensitivities. I learned how to use pressure in phases and recognize proper responses.
Driving	The horse learns to pay attention to you and respond to your requests.	I learned volumes about Rocky’s natural drive to be the dominant member of every relationship and how to respond to Rocky’s aggression.
YoYo	The horse learns to back away from you and be drawn back to you.	I started learning to use pressure with effective phases to balance drive and draw and how to deal with aggressive reactions.
Circling	The horse learns to be sent on a circle and be drawn back to you. The horse learns to maintain gait and to pay attention to the human.	I learned to use the lead rope and carrot stick together to safely play this game with effective phases. I started learning about Rocky’s emotions and the resulting acts of aggression.
Sideways	The horse learns to move sideways. The horse is forced to slow down and think.	Initially, I had to learn to stay out of the kick zone. I learned to use this as a comfort game for us.
Squeeze	The horse learns to think and be calm in small spaces.	I learned to use the squeeze game to keep Rocky interested and not bored.

Friendly and Porcupine Games

The friendly and porcupine games reminded me a lot about the games people play when they are developing a new relationship. When people first meet, they try to find something in common like music or a hobby. Then they try to find activities they can share and enjoy together. They also begin to set boundaries in their relationship.

Rocky and I didn’t have too many issues with games 1 and 2. Rocky loved to be groomed and scratched everywhere with my hands. Compared to the other games, the friendly and porcupine games were easy with my hands. Our challenge was using the carrot stick. Rocky did not want the carrot stick in our relationship.

Christi taught me to use a lot of “approach and retreat” exercises to desensitize Rocky to the carrot stick. Approach and retreat forced me to learn to recognize Rocky’s thresholds. I practiced moving the stick toward Rocky until he was uncomfortable and then I would back off. Christi taught me a variety of ways to use the carrot stick with rhythmic motions to move the carrot stick back and forth. Eventually, we overcame his fear of the carrot stick. Now he can’t wait for me to scratch his under belly with the leather tab on the end of the stick. The following table describes the basics of approach and retreat.

Table 3 Approach and Retreat

Tool	Longer Distances to horse	Close to horse
Lead rope	Walk calmly at the end of the lead rope with the horse behind you. As the horse gets comfortable shorten the lead rope until he is uncomfortable and then lengthen the rope a little.	Face the horse holding the lead rope. When he is comfortable with the distance, draw him to you by shortening the lead rope and back off when he is uncomfortable.
Carrot Stick or other object that upsets Rocky	Walk casually with the object in front of you, away from the horse. Use slow rhythmic motions to play with the object. Slowly start moving the object to your sides as the horse gets comfortable. Finally, start moving the object behind you. Retreat to the front or sides when the horse is uncomfortable.	Use slow rhythmic motions to play with the object. Move it up and down, right to left. Start with the object at your side and slowly move it in front of you. Whenever he is uncomfortable, make smaller motions or move the object further away from him.
ME	Be calm, walk slowly, and don’t focus on the object or Rocky.	Be calm, stand still, and don’t focus on the object or Rocky.

My personal challenge was learning to relax and not putting pressure on Rocky. I had to learn which of my actions put pressure on Rocky and how to relax while doing the “approach and retreat” exercises. I realized that my tension was putting more pressure on Rocky. I used these same techniques to overcome his issues with other objects.

Figure 9 Approach and Retreat with Rocky

Savvy String is a great Fly Swatter

How did I help Rocky overcome his great sensitivity to the carrot stick and savvy string? I used many variations of approach and retreat. The most successful one was to use the savvy string as a gentle fly swatter. Whenever I saw Rocky vigorously trying to get rid of a fly, I would use friendly with my hands to help him. I gradually started introducing the carrot stick and savvy string to help Rocky get rid of the fly. I am sure you have seen horses standing side by side so they can use their tails to swat flies on one another. I would stand by Rocky and gently swing my savvy string tail in the area where he had flies. It didn’t take long for Rocky to realize what a great thing this was for him. Now, if he has a pesky horse fly in some place he can’t reach (like his underbelly), he will rush across the pasture to me so I can get the fly for him. While we are riding, the carrot stick and savvy string also make a great a fly swatter.

Effective Phases

Developing and using effective phases is a vital horsemanship skill. The idea behind effective phases is that you want to use the least amount of pressure possible to communicate with the horse. Parelli numbers the phases from 1 to 4 where phase 1 is the least amount of pressure and phase 4 is “do whatever you need to save your life”. As an example for making the horse back away from you with a YoYo, the phases would be:

Phase 1: wiggle your finger without moving the rope

Phase 2: wiggle your hand from the wrist to shake the rope gently

Phase 3: wiggle your arm from the elbow to shake the rope

Phase 4: use your entire arm and violently shake the rope.

The idea is of a “long phase 1” gives the horse an opportunity to respond to your request before you escalate the pressure to phase 2. I learned to count to 10 using phase 1 before moving on to phase 2. I also learned to quickly use phase 4 if Rocky moved toward me or behaved in an aggressive manner.

Driving Game

Driving is an extremely challenging game with a dominant horse. I needed to learn effective techniques to drive Rocky back a safe distance and keep him there. With Christi’s guidance, I learned to use the lead rope and carrot stick with the driving game to keep Rocky at a safe distance.

Simply shaking the lead rope wasn’t usually effective when Rocky was unhappy in Level 1 and it would inspire him to move toward me. The most effective technique to drive Rocky back a safe distance was to move the carrot stick up and down forming a wall above the lead rope and if Rocky didn’t back up I would tap the lead rope with the carrot stick. I had to keep the rope tight enough that the rope would vibrate the halter snap and get Rocky’s attention. These techniques are described in the following table.

Table 4 Level 1 Driving Techniques

Parelli Tool	Phase 1	Phase 2	Phase 3	Phase 4
Lead Rope	Shake the lead rope with wrist action	Shake the lead rope with elbow action	Shake the lead rope with whole arm action	Send a rolling wave of energy down the lead rope to violently move the metal snap attaching the rope to the halter
Carrot stick and savvy string	Holding the string, slowly move the carrot stick up and down	More vigorously move the stick up and down	Tap the lead rope while moving the stick up and down	Vigorously tap the lead rope while moving the stick up and down making the metal snap move and if necessary march toward horse

One commonly used technique to drive the horse back a safe distance is to use the carrot stick under the lead rope and move the carrot stick horizontally in front of the horse’s chest with the carrot stick pointing at the horse’s chest. This technique worked for many of the horses at the camps. The horse doesn’t want to run into the moving carrot stick so it backs away. It only aggravated Rocky and inspired him to attempt to bite. By keeping the carrot stick above the lead rope and moving the stick vertically up and down forming a wall between us, Rocky would run into the carrot stick if he attempted to bite or move closer. The carrot stick is not pointing at Rocky, but is perpendicular to the lead rope and forms a wall between us as it moves up and down as shown in the following pictures.

Figure 10 Driving Rocky Effectively

Dwell Time

Once Rocky was back a safe distance, we would simply enjoy one another’s company and not do anything. Christi calls this dwell time. Dwell time can be a reward for the horse. Rocky was a GO horse and liked to keep moving. Dwell time was a way to let him know it was OK to relax and just stand quietly around humans.

Figure 11 Dwell Time after Driving

If Rocky tried to move toward me, I would send him back again. I would let Rocky into my personal space at my discretion NOT HIS. Rocky quickly learned to not charge into my space once he realized I would drive him back if I didn’t invite him into my space.

Relaxing may sound easy to do but when you are terrified of being bitten or worse, it is not easy. I had to learn to relax around Rocky. Rocky would not relax if I was still tense. I used yoga exercises to learn to relax my whole body. After I relaxed, I would wait for Rocky to relax. I would not do anything until he relaxed. The following tables describe our relaxed phases.

Table 5 My Relaxation Phases

Tools	Relaxed Phase
Lead Rope	Rope has no tension and sags in the middle, the rope may even touch the ground. You can keep a firm grip on the end of the rope in case you need to take action.
Carrot stick and savvy string	Let the end of the carrot stick and savvy string rest on the ground. Keep your hands on the stick handle in case you need to take action.
ME	Stand quietly and relax without moving. Breathe in and out slowly. Don’t look at the horse because it puts pressure on the horse. BUT keep an eye on him. Don’t move your hands or legs.

Table 6 Rocky’s Relaxation Phases

Tools	Relaxed Phase
Lead Rope	He allows the lead rope to hang without tension. He is not tugging on the rope or trying to move away or toward you.
Carrot stick and savvy string	He is not paying any attention to the carrot stick or string.
Rocky	He doesn’t have any tension in his face or body. He is standing quietly. His focus is on getting scratched, grazing, or napping with his soft eyes mostly closed. His head is up if he is interested in something, otherwise his head is lowered.

Figure 12 Relaxing Together

Circling Game

Driving and circling games brought out a lot of emotions for both of us. We had to break old patterns and develop new ones. I had to learn to be effective and earn Rocky’s respect. Rocky had to give me a chance. Rocky bounced between responding as expected and becoming more aggressive. Rocky had a lot of GO and circling gave him a lot of opportunities to get out of control. I bounced between starting to feel like we were finally making progress and total despair when things seemed to be moving in reverse back to old scary habits. We were working through some very emotional “thresholds”.

The following photo shows Rocky all dressed up for the 4^th of July in 2004. I drove him away from me when his face went “angry” and he started circling because it allowed him to GO. He is exhibiting angry emotions with his tense face, nose, eyes, and ears. This is the face of an angry, aggressive horse that wants to take action to exert his dominance. Unfortunately, this expression was very common while we worked on Level 1.

Figure 13 Angry Rocky on a Circle

I used a wave of energy down the 12 foot line to interrupt his pattern in the next photo. I sent him in the other direction because a change of direction makes him think.

Figure 14 Wave of Energy on 12 ft Rope

After Rocky calmed down and had a “happy face”, I drew him to me in the next photo. If you haven’t noticed by now, I will admit that I am not exactly fashion conscious. As you can see in most of the photos, I go for comfort when it comes to being with Rocky.

Figure 15 Drawn in with a Happier Face

After I drew Rocky back in from the circle, I scratched his ear to make sure it was soft and not tense. He likes ear scratches and frequently asks to have his ears scratched. If he wouldn’t let me scratch his ear or he was still tense, then I would drive him away again and do another SLOW (NO GO) game like YoYo or sideways. In the next photo, Rocky gets some grazing time as we spend some quiet dwell time. Notice in the photo that I am keeping the carrot stick between the two of us in case I need it to drive him back again.

Figure 16 Dwell Time Reward

Sideways Game

Sideways in Level 1 involves standing by the fence, backing the horse away from you, sending the horse in an arc to face the fence, and then putting rhythmic pressure on the front and rear of the horse to get him to step sideways along the fence. We had a rough start, but I quickly realized that sideways was a game we both enjoyed. It became our comfort game. Whenever things weren’t going right, I would move to a fence and sideways Rocky for a few steps. A lot of days I just released Rocky after a few successful sideways steps. Sideways became the answer for Rocky – whenever he wasn’t sure what to do, he would start stepping sideways to see if that was what I wanted. The following photos show sideways with the 22 foot line.

Figure 17 Basic Sideways with a Fence

Sideways over objects presented a new challenge. Initially, Rocky would not tolerate anything under him. We started with very small objects like a PVC pole on the ground. Once Rocky overcame his fear of sideways over small objects, we rapidly advanced to much larger objects such as logs and barrels.

Figure 18 Starting Sideways over an Object

Handling Sensitivities

During one of Christi’s camps we used umbrellas, hula hoops, and pool noodles to desensitize the horses. Christi also had a giant hula hoop circle for the horses to stand in. Rocky had very negative reactions to the hula hoops at the camp. When we got home, I bought a small hula hoop so we could try “approach and retreat” to overcome whatever his issues were. I played with Rocky in the pasture for a while and then went to the truck to get the hula hoop. When I entered the pasture with the hoop, Rocky reared and ran in the opposite direction until he reached the fence. He went sideways down the entire length of a 3 acre pasture fence until he reached the corner and stopped. He didn’t look at me for a long time. I was truly worried that I was destroying his spirit.

Obviously, Rocky had a real aversion to hula hoops that we needed to overcome. I used “approach and retreat” games with the hula hoop to help Rocky. Using “approach and retreat”, I would bring a hula hoop near Rocky until he reacted and then I would back off. We started by walking around with Rocky at the end of the lead rope and then advanced to standing still. During these exercises, I would not put any pressure on Rocky or any focus on the hula hoop. I would just walk around with the hula hoop and not pay any particular attention to the hoop or Rocky. I even put hula hoops on the ground with treats in the middle of the hoop so he would have to reach his head into the hoop if he wanted the treat. Always being interested in food, Rocky eventually decided hula hoops were a source of treats and he began to look forward to finding a hula hoop.

Figure 19 Approach and Retreat with a Scary Hula Hoop

Figure 20 Approach and Retreat to Stand in a Scary Hula Hoop

For months, I spent all of our time together working on the ground. Most of the people at the stable could not imagine owning a horse and NOT riding. Many of the other horse owners were convinced that I was a bad influence and didn’t want me near their horses. We spent a lot of time doing nothing. It was difficult and scary for me, but I learned to just wait quietly without putting any pressure on Rocky.

Food Aggression

I spent a lot of time working on Rocky’s aggression toward people around his food. I would arrive at the stable before feeding time and stake out a small empty paddock (36 by 48 feet). I would put Rocky in the paddock with a food tub by the fence. I would put his sweet feed in the tub and stand or sit on the other side of the fence and ignore him and the food. This way, Rocky could not bite me but he had to be close to me if he wanted to eat. Hunger usually won out but some days he spent a lot of time studying the situation or wildly rushing around the paddock before eating. I gradually started moving closer while he ate and got to the point where I could stand in the paddock beside him while he ate. It took several weeks, but Rocky was finally at the point where he showed no intentions of biting me around his food. I was always wary and kept a close watch – I had to learn to start trusting Rocky and my ability to properly respond if he became aggressive. I started grooming Rocky while he ate. He seemed to enjoy this attention.

Slowing a GO Horse

Rocky was our first horse and the first horse that I had ever ridden. I had a huge learning curve to develop the effective use of the lead rope and carrot stick. This learning curve required overcoming emotional fears and developing the physical abilities and coordination to orchestrate all the tools at one time. I had a bigger challenge learning to RIDE. I decided to start riding Rocky in the small paddock where I was feeding him so he couldn’t run very far. I started each day by playing with Rocky while I groomed and saddled him. We did a lot of YoYo backing up and sideways around the sides of the paddock. I spent a lot time just standing quietly with Rocky.

I started using the fence as a mounting block. We spent a lot of time just standing quietly by the fence – both of us on the ground. I started sitting on the fence while Rocky stood by the fence. I would get Rocky to stand quietly by the fence while I got into the saddle from the fence. If he stood quietly, I would get off and wait a few minutes before getting back on. If he moved, I stayed on him until he stopped moving before I got off. I would wait a few minutes and get back on. This seemed to give him a sense of control – if he wanted me off his back, all he had to do was go stand quietly by the fence. We did this for weeks. Standing by the fence became a comfort spot for Rocky. Even today, when Rocky thinks we have been riding long enough or he is starting to get stressed, he will go stand by the nearest fence and turn his head to look back at me with an expression that I interpret to be “Can we do something else?” or “Are you ready to get off?”

I started trying to actually ride with some control like turning, backing up, and sideways. I did all this in that little paddock. Rocky would stand by the fence, I would get in the saddle from the fence, we would walk a few steps along the fence, and if he stood quietly by the fence, I would get off again. We would repeat the process riding around the fence of the paddock and making small turns. I started adding short backups along the fence. Rocky initially seemed stressed about backing up so when he backed up a few steps and stopped, I would get off as his reward.

We had mastered sideways on the ground and I was amazed at how easy it was to start doing sideways in the saddle. He would voluntarily sideways to the fence to see if I would get off. Sometimes I did, other times I didn’t. I started giving him little treats at random when he stepped sideways to the fence instead of getting off.

I now had a slow poke horse. People wanted to know why he didn’t move faster – was something wrong with him? I said a huge prayer of THANKS! I finally had a horse that didn’t wildly attack me on the ground or give me a wild ride in the saddle. If you want to see what I mean by a wild ride, check out “The Storm” photos in Chapter 7 that show Rocky bucking with his saddle. I had a horse with better ground manners than most and I had some tools for responding to aggressive behavior.

How slow did I make this horse? In May 2005, we went to a playday at one of the local riding clubs. I rode with the Parelli bareback pad and intentionally walked him through every event just to make sure he wouldn’t become angry about the other horses, announcers, dogs, kids, folding chairs, umbrellas, traffic, lunch bags, wind blown bags, and anything else you find at a horse riding club playday. In one of the events, we walked slowly by the timer and Rocky flicked his tail just after we passed the timer. The announcer called us back to start over because his tail flick had registered as the end time on the timer. Many people asked if I could make him go faster – YAHOO – my GO horse was now well-adjusted enough to calmly walk through anything at a noisy playday!

Figure 21 Calmly Walking the Cone Events Bareback

Figure 22 Calmly Walking the Poles Bareback

Figure 23 Calmly Walking the Barrels Bareback

This is NOT Fiction

There is so much material that you read today or see on the Internet or TV that you begin to wonder what is real and what isn’t. This book is the story of our REAL natural horsemanship journey full of dirt, sweat, and tears – tears of fear and tears of joy.

By now, you have seen a lot of photos and there are many more photos in this book. These photos are not staged. You may wonder why I am sharing photos that don’t show Rocky or me in our best form or physical condition. I have included the photos to show that this is what really happened and how much Rocky and I have learned and grown together as our relationship transformed into a partnership. We experienced so much that is hard to describe and I included photos to help with many of the descriptions. It is especially hard to describe how I learned to read Rocky’s emotions without photographs. When I looked back through the old photos, I was amazed at how obvious some of his emotions would have been if I had only known about Horsenalities.

My sincerest hope is that others facing a difficult relationship can learn from our experience that is it possible to develop the skills needed to not only survive but to succeed. Those tactics that worked for us may not work for others but I hope that we can provide a positive example of what is possible if you hang in there long enough.

A relationship takes two parties willing to work together and I came to believe that Rocky was willing to be my partner. A lot of the photos in this book show a very angry emotional Rocky and how we as partners learned to overcome the aggressive acts associated with these emotions. Rocky had a gentle and willing attitude that is hard to show in photos. We just had to learn to manage the “rocky” moments as they happened.

I also realize that in some cases, one of the partners may not have this willing attitude and developing a positive relationship may not be possible. Fortunately for us, Rocky and I were both willing to put the effort into forming our horse and human partnership. The upcoming Sneak Attack and Charge events give only a hint of how much effort it took.

Chapter 6 A “Rocky” Relationship

My relationship with Rocky was very much improved after passing Level 1 but our relationship was like a roller coaster ride. It was pleasant for a while and then there was a frightening plunge into a dark chasm as we started using the 22 foot line. Parelli Level 1 uses a 12 foot lead rope for all the tasks. A big part of Level 2 is using a 22 foot lead rope to communicate with the horse from a longer distance. The longer rope teaches the horse to respect you and respond from greater distances. I went through a whole new set of challenges learning to respond effectively to Rocky’s dominance games at a longer distance. Rocky relished the dominance games with the freedom of a 22 foot line.

There were several times I returned to standing in a hay ring to back up Rocky in the driving and YoYo games or to send him on a circle. I also found a fence that I could walk along one side and drive Rocky down the other side of the fence. Parelli switched to the new Levels Pathway in 2009, but I was still working with the old Level 2 training books that didn’t cover Horsenalities and how to handle extreme left brained dominant behavior. There were times when Rocky seemed to think we were playing the old bite and steal the carrot stick games at a longer distance. The longer distance gave him more room to play.

I attended many of Christi’s camps to learn effective phases for handling the new level of our dominance games at a longer distance. I still introduced myself as a Mom trying to make our horse safe for my daughter. I attended basic and advanced Level 2 camps, Liberty camps, and trail riding camps. During one of our dark moments, Rocky even bit me while I was participating in one of Christi’s Level 2 Liberty camps. I broke down in tears because I was so discouraged and afraid we were returning to the same old patterns of escalating aggression. Christi devoted a lot of time to helping me learn effective phases in response to Rocky’s behavior. It took a long time to learn to read the situation and respond with an effective response level. Rocky does not bite anymore!

Clash of the Left Brains

I am a left brained personality and Rocky is a left brained Horsenality. For both of us, our daily decisions are a matter of life and death. I am an engineer and engineering decisions must be precise and accurate with little margin for error. Left brained personalities are a natural and necessary fit for my occupation. For Rocky, his position of dominance in the horse herd determines his chances of survival. The best food and water goes to the dominate herd members. In times of scarcity, the less dominant animals perish first. In order to survive, Rocky is driven to win the dominance game at all costs.

I am an analytical person who studies the situation, researches options, and carefully plans my course of action. Rocky obviously has the same traits as he sizes up the situation, thinks about his options, and waits for the opportunity to exert his dominance. The following paragraphs describe what I will call “Anatomy of a Sneak Attack” and “Anatomy of The Charge”. Once Rocky knew I could successfully drive him back a safe distance to avoid a frontal assault, he resorted to sneak attacks where he would sneak in close enough to bite. In “The Charge”, he shows his determination with a frontal charge.

Anatomy of a Sneak Attack

The following photos were taken at a Level 2 Christi camp in June 2006. We began the day playing the Parelli games in sequence. The first game is friendly and we rubbed our horses all over with our hands, the carrot stick, and lead rope. We played extreme friendly slapping the ground with the carrot stick. During the porcupine game, we practiced leading the horse by their ears and tails. We also did fun tasks like lifting their feet using the rope.

Driving was and probably will always be a challenge to Rocky’s natural dominance instincts. Rocky is a very confident left brained horse with strong drive to dominate. Rocky started reacting with his own dominance driving instinct in the driving game. There are several warning signs in Rocky’s body language in the following photo:

· quick short swishes with his tail

· ears are tense and going back

· face and nose are tense

· sneaking closer and closer every chance he can find.

Figure 24 Reading Rocky's Attitude

Later, we did a fast driving task where you bring up your energy and march toward the horse forcing the horse to move back or run into the carrot stick. The following photos show the carrot stick being used above the lead rope to create a wall or barrier between me and Rocky to discourage him from being aggressive and moving toward me while I drive him back. I drove him back a safe distance at the end of the rope for some dwell time while Christi continued to talk to us.

Figure 25 Driving Back Seems OK

The next photo shows Rocky sneaking in to attempt a quick bite when I turn my back to listen to Christi. The warning signs are his laid back ears, the tension in his face, a quick tail swish, and the quiet determined energy in his approach.

Figure 26 Sneak Attack

When I turned and noticed his approach, I immediately took the actions that were becoming second nature to me:

· Stand in my power posture and bring up my energy.

· Shorten the lead rope so it will have an impact when I send energy down it.

· Begin driving motions with the carrot stick and create a barrier between us.

· March toward Rocky as I vibrate the lead rope and use the carrot stick to create a barrier between us so he would run into the stick if he moved forward to bite.

There are two reasons why I am including details of Rocky’s style of sneak attack. The first reason is to illustrate the stress of constantly being in a situation where you are in fear of an attack. The second reason is to show that I had learned to deal with the situation using horse psychology; I didn’t have to make contact with Rocky to win this battle. The following stress scenario is the “Anatomy of a Charge’ where Rocky charges at me during the driving game. This scenario was not an unusual event in the early days of learning Parelli, what is unusual is that Lisa Carter was there to record the event.

Figure 27 Driven Back after Sneak Attack

Anatomy of The Charge

“The Charge” happened shortly after the “Sneak Attack”. The following photos show Rocky during driving games where we were trying to balance drive and draw. In this particular game, you send the horse back a safe distance on the 22 ft rope and draw them to you at a trot by slapping the savvy string on the ground behind you and if necessary backing up to improve drawing the horse to you. Rocky loved this game, but his version was a full frontal attacking charge the minute the carrot stick was not creating a barrier between us.

Rocky charged toward me with these warning signs in his body language:

• quick short swishes with his tail
• ears are back
• face and nose are tense
• charging forward and building speed.

Figure 28 The Charge

I immediately took the actions that were becoming second nature to me:

• Stand in my power posture and bring up my energy.
• Shorten the lead rope if there is time, and here there wasn’t time
• Begin driving motions with the carrot stick and create a barrier between us.
• March toward Rocky as I vibrate the lead rope and use the carrot stick to create a barrier between us so he would run into the stick if he moves forward to bite or rear up using his front feet to attack.

In this particular situation, I did not have time to shorten the lead rope so that I could use the maximum amount of pressure by vigorously shaking the rope or sending a rolling wave of energy down the rope. I still shook the rope, but my main tool was using the carrot stick to form a wall between us. I am 5 foot tall and the carrot stick is 4 foot long. With my arm reach and the carrot stick, I can make a moving wall bigger than Rocky.

Figure 29 Stopping the Charge

In this particular incident, Rocky tried to rear up as he approached but he backed down when the carrot stick wall approached him. As you can see in the following photo of Rocky as he circles to my left, he wants to continue the dominance battle. His body language in the photo on the left is a dominant horse ready to fight. Unfortunately for me, the lead rope is far too long to use with an effective phase and my only effective tools are the carrot stick and horse psychology. This whole incident lasted less 5 seconds and I didn’t have time to shorten the rope while making the carrot stick wall. I gave him a stern warning look and firmly held the carrot stick ready for his next move. Rocky calmed down quickly once the incident was over. Notice in the following photos that the carrot stick stays between us.

Figure 30 Calm Down after the Charge

I learned quickly to never let Rocky approach me if he showed any of the warning signs of aggression: ears back, rolling eyes or hard eyes, tail swishing, or tense face. This sounds so easy on paper but it is not easy in the hot sun with stinging sweat in your eyes, trying to listen to the instructor, and watching out for other horses.

Why did Rocky Back Down?

Why did Rocky back down from the carrot stick barrier and energy in the lead rope? Let’s face it – Rocky could easily bite me or hit me and knock me down. The purpose of Rocky’s attacks usually seemed to be to bite me or steal the carrot stick. The general pattern of his past sneak attacks was:

• Sneak in close enough to make contact
• Make a quick lunge to bite me
• Retreat just out of range as fast as he could and watch my reactions
• Jerk the lead rope out of my hands if possible.

The general pattern of Rocky’s past frontal charge attacks was:

• Retreat to the end of the lead rope
• Turn and face me, watching me
• Wait – I’m not sure what his criteria for a good time to attack is
• Make a quick charge toward me
• Either bite me or grab the carrot stick
• Retreat just out of range as fast as he could and watch my reactions.

Both of these tactics were too common in our early relationship.

What changed?

Why did he back down and effectively lose these dominance battles?

The answer is Rocky’s Respect for my ability to use an effective Phase 4.

On several occasions, Rocky has galloped head first into a carrot stick wall as the metal buckle of the lead rope banged into his chin. If he had not backed down, this would have happened again and again until he backed away. This is my effective phase 4 during an attack from Rocky. He knew I had an effective phase 4 and would not hesitate to use it.

The phase 4 uses the carrot stick to make a wall bigger than Rocky as a barrier to keep him away from me. If he moves too close, he runs into the carrot stick wall – I am not being aggressive toward him, I am defending my space with my wall. If he runs into my wall, it is his own fault and not mine. I can march toward him using the carrot stick wall to make him back down. The phase 4 can also use the lead rope in the following ways to interrupt Rocky’s pattern of thought during the attack:

• If I have sufficient tension in the lead rope and Rocky is far enough away from me, I can send a rolling wave of energy down the lead rope to violently vibrate the metal snap attaching the lead rope to the halter.
• If the lead rope is short enough with sufficient tension, I can use the carrot stick to violently tap the lead rope causing violent vibrations of the metal snap attaching the rope to the halter.
• If the lead rope doesn’t have much tension, I can still violently shake the rope.

In both of these incidents, Rocky was the aggressor and I was defending my space. I was not being aggressive toward Rocky. I used the carrot stick wall and the lead rope to define my space. If he violated my space, then his aggressive actions caused him to run into the carrot stick wall and lead rope that protected my space.

Rocky expected me to respond to his aggression with my own anger and aggression. I was doing the opposite of what he expected and wanted. I was not letting him define the rules of the dominance game – I was telling him that I didn’t need to play his game to maintain my position. I worked really hard to not become “a predator” and respond with my own angry acts of aggression in response to Rocky’s angry emotions and acts of aggression. I knew that Rocky would only escalate his acts of aggression if I were to respond with aggression. It is very stressful to be on guard all of the time expecting the next acts of aggression. At times, I felt like Rocky was baiting me to make me angry and force me to respond to him with anger. I had developed effective phases, but I was fearful that Rocky might need more.

Chapter 7 Parelli Level 2

The old Parelli Level 2 program was called Harmony and as the name implies the goal of Level 2 was to improve the quality of your relationship with better communication. The idea is to improve your relationship with the horse so that the horse wants to do the tasks with you (like a partnership). The tasks were divided into 4 categories: On Line, Liberty, Freestyle Riding, and Finesse Riding. The Harmony Official Assessment required the following tasks to be officially demonstrated to pass Level 2.

Table 7 Parelli Level 2 Harmony Assessment

Category	Tasks
On Line	Play the seven games with an obstacle
	YoYo over a pole and return
	Squeeze jump over an 18 – 24 inch jump
	Circle both directions with canter - trot - walk - trot – canter transitions
	Change direction at trot maintaining gait
	Sideways without a fence for 20 feet both directions
	Send horse under a hanging tarp or into a trailer
	Lead horse using 22 foot line around front leg
Liberty	Extreme friendly game with carrot stick and savvy string
	Play all seven games at liberty in seven minutes
	Horse smells his tail for 10 seconds on each side
	Hold your horse’s tongue
	Pinch horse’s neck and he relaxes
Freestyle Riding	Send horse to saddle and pad to sniff them
	Saddle horse without touching lead rope
	Bridle horse from your knees or while sitting in a chair
	Mount horse from ground or mounting platform
	Trot a figure 8 on a casual rein around tow markers 50 feet apart
	Canter showing 3 simple lead changes using a casual rein
Finesse Riding	Show 3 YoYos from walk to backup using Parelli 9-Step Backup
	Ride sideways in both directions at least 20 feet without a fence

I successfully demonstrated most of the tasks in 2006 and 2007. Riding was my big challenge and I finally passed my last task, the Freestyle riding canter task, in December 2008 to complete Level 2. Rocky and I were now able to enjoy one another’s company.

Parelli Games in Level 2

If I were asked to provide a one word summary of the lessons learned by the Level 2 games it would be “communication”. The following table describes the generalities that Rocky and I learned playing the games in Level 2. We played the games and related tasks with the Parelli 22 foot line, at liberty, and while riding. The games really helped develop the communication patterns we used to listen and respond to one another.

Table 8 Parelli Games in Level 2

Parelli Game	What Rocky learned	What I learned
Friendly	Rocky learned to trust me and to expect to be treated fairly. Rocky learned to ask for special favors like “scratch this spot” as he would point with his nose.	I learned to trust Rocky and to treat him fairly with effective phases. I learned to listen to Rocky and read his emotions. I learned to recognize when Rocky was asking me questions or I needed better communication.
Porcupine	Rocky learned to yield to minimal pressure – just a look from me. He began to respond to minimal pressure in mounted activities.	I learned how to use the minimum amount of pressure necessary to communicate my plans to Rocky. I learned to listen to Rocky’s responses and decide when more pressure was needed or when I had used too much pressure and needed to back off.
Driving	Rocky learned that I had effective phases and would use them. He became attentive and responsive. His natural dominant tendencies were becoming less aggressive. His playful spirit was still there but no longer aggressive.	I learned how to channel Rocky’s natural drive to be the dominant member of every relationship into playful activities. We learned to play at greater distances and at liberty. I learned to be Rocky’s partner. I was forced to learn to use consistent body language on the ground and in the saddle.
YoYo	Rocky learned to pay close attention to my body language.	I learned to pay close attention to Rocky and respond with the least amount of pressure possible.
Circling	Rocky learned to respond at greater distances. He learned to respect my requests when I used effective phases. Circling still isn’t his favorite game but he enjoys it more without getting bored.	I learned to read Rocky’s emotions and use effective phases at greater distances. Effective phases were really important because ineffective phases annoyed Rocky. I learned to mix other activities with circling to keep Rocky from getting bored.
Sideways	Rocky loves sideways online, at liberty, and in the saddle. When he is confused by my uncoordinated directions, he tries sideways to see if it is the answer.	I used sideways as a comfort game for us. I learned to vary the sideways games to prevent boredom by using a lot of obstacles and sideways from zone 1 (like dancing). Zone 1 is in front of Rocky.
Squeeze	Rocky learned to love squeeze jumps especially at liberty. He loves standing on pedestals and getting his belly scratched.	I learned to trust Rocky to be safe and calm in small spaces. I learned to devise fun squeeze activities so Rocky doesn’t get bored.

Reading Rocky’s Attitude

It is very difficult to describe reading Rocky’s attitude at any given moment. The Parelli Horse Behavior lessons really helped me to understand general horse behavior and Christi helped me apply that knowledge to understand Rocky and his needs. She helped me realize that Rocky easily got bored and we couldn’t keep repeating the same tasks without a change of pace. I learned to integrate multiple tasks so he didn’t become bored.

Figure 31 Driving Game

I also learned that several activities simply upset Rocky. I have no idea what happened to Rocky in the first four years of his life and can’t possibly understand the emotional baggage he brought into our partnership. Christi helped me recognize patterns in Rocky’s behavior. We realized that he became very emotional and downright angry while circling and we developed approaches to overcome his emotions and develop his interest in circling. Rocky is a GO horse and circling does not calm down a GO horse. He needs to be forced to think instead of GO. A basic pattern that I used was to have Rocky circle just one or two times and then move on to some other task he enjoyed. I learned to slowly increase the number of times we circled before moving on to another task.

Figure 32 Circling while Seated on Ground

After seeing the above photos of Rocky quietly circling me while I am sitting on the ground, it is hard to believe how scary circling could be. Rocky needed me to use effective phases. Rocky viewed ineffective phases or inconsistent use of body language on my part as annoying and scolding when he didn’t deserve it.

The images below show us in a Liberty lesson at a Christi camp in 2007. We had mastered circling while online at this point in time. Liberty brought out new challenges with Rocky’s behavior. As you can see, Rocky may appear attentive with his tense ears but the way he is holding his head with his tense nostrils and angry eyes shows HE IS NOT HAPPY ABOUT CIRCLING! I learned to recognize this look as a sign that Rocky was about to explode and would bite me if he could get close enough to make contact.

Figure 33 Angry Emotions about Liberty Circles

As you can see in these three photos, Rocky is showing his unhappiness and raw anger about playing the circling game. Rocky is not acting in fear, he is ANGRY. Christi taught me how to develop and apply effective phases to convince Rocky that I was the leader and would not tolerate this extreme dominant left brained behavior.

Figure 34 Rocky with Angry Circling Emotions

During Rocky’s angry circling episodes he would run around wildly, getting closer and closer to me. His intent was to bite or attack me. Christi taught me to push him back onto wider circles by putting pressure on his front shoulders. He only got to stop circling when he was calm. I would reward him with a carrot stick massage on the neck – he really likes getting his neck rubbed and I could keep him at a distance by using the carrot stick to give him his massage.

Figure 35 Rocky Calm after Emotional Circling

As a left brained horse, Rocky is easily bored and doesn’t see any value in running circles. I learned to keep Rocky from being bored by adding obstacles and other variations to the circling game. The following photos show Rocky circling barrels in a 2009 camp. Notice his attentive face and ears as the circles the barrel.

Figure 36 Circling Obstacles is More Fun

With practice, I began to be able to read Rocky’s attitudes so I could help him work through his angry emotions and calm down. I learned to slow down the pace and start with activities that were less stressful for Rocky. Eventually, Rocky wanted to quickly calm down and the incidents of his extreme anger dwindled. It took a very long and stressful 5 years from the time we started Parelli until we reached the point where Rocky and I were really partners. He became a very willing and yet playfully spirited horse.

The Ears Say it All

I can determine Rocky’s attitude by his ears. Tense ears are an indication that Rocky is not in a good mood and could become aggressive. If he will not let me rub or scratch his ears then he is not in a friendly mood. The same is true if his ears are tense when I rub or scratch them. I always check Rocky’s ears before we ride. He may pass all of the respect tests and still have tense ears. We play friendly and respect games until his ears are relaxed and he lets me rub them.

If you watch Pat Parelli during his horse demonstrations, you will see him play with the horse’s ears a lot. Christi taught us that Pat uses this to determine the tension level of the horse. I really appreciated learning this because it is a great safety check.

Two activities that really help Rocky relax are a pedestal and the sideways game. I let him stand on a pedestal if one is available. He loves to have his underbelly rubbed while standing on a pedestal. If there are flies, I use the carrot stick and savvy string to gently swat the flies. For the sideways game from zone 1, I like to find a place to sit down, yoyo him back a few steps and let him sideways back and forth a few steps in front of me. For some variety, Rocky also likes to sideways over obstacles. I have him sideways one direction a few steps and we wait until he relaxes a little before I sideways him the other way. Rocky usually finds zone 1 sideways more relaxing than zone 3 sideways. Zone 1 is in front of the horse and zone 3 is the middle of the horse (his stomach).

Rocky loves to be scratched and especially loves to have his ears scratched. One of the big breakthroughs in our relationship happened when Rocky realized that he could ask me to scratch for him. While grooming Rocky, I would scratch those areas where his hair was matted down from scratching with his mouth. If he looked back at me, I would gently move (porcupine) his head to the area and scratch it for him while I held his head. He has learned to approach me and use his nose to point to areas for me to scratch.

Rocky has dry skin in his ears and it must really itch because he rubs his ears all the time. It took some time, but eventually Rocky let me rub and scratch his ears. When I would see Rocky rubbing his ears against a tree or the fence, I would approach him and scratch another area and eventually make my way to his ears. I would start by scratching the outside of his ears and the advance to the inside edge of his ears. Now, he rushes across the pasture just to have me scratch his ears.

I use the carrot stick when we are riding to swat flies for Rocky. I use the leather tab on the end of the carrot stick to rub his ears and shoo away flies when he gets little flies or mosquitoes on the edge of his ears. He really enjoys this. If I think he is getting tense, I will rub his ears with the carrot stick. If he does not let me rub his ears then I know he is getting tense and I may need to get off.

Liberty Bridling Task

The following photos show the Level 2 task to bridle your horse at liberty. Playing the friendly game with Rocky’s ears was my key to making this task easy. Rocky expects me to scratch his ears when I sit down and he lowers his head. Putting the hackamore halter or bridle on while seated was an easy follow-on to scratching his ears while I am seated.

Figure 37 Liberty Bridling Task with Hackamore Halter

Figure 38 Dwell Time After Liberty Bridling

Mirroring

Mirroring is a communication skill used to develop a bond and trust. People mirror one another all of the time without even realizing it. Children mirror their parents. People mirror others that they admire. College psychology, management, and marketing classes teach students to understand mirroring and how to use it to lead others.

Mirroring body language involves following the body language of another person, using the same pace as the other person, and then subtly taking over the lead so that the other person begins to mirror you. Christi teaches mirroring the horse as a way to bond with the horse; as well as, to get the horse and rider in synch with one another.

The following photos were taken when I was just learning to mirror Rocky. I had to learn to keep my hand on his withers while keeping the rope and carrot stick out of the way of his natural motions.

Figure 39 Learning to Mirror Rocky

Rocky has a lot of energy. When we are out in the open pastures, he likes to check out the entire pasture at a quick pace before settling down to graze.

Figure 40 Mirroring on the Alert and Moving

Figure 41 Mirroring Relaxing in the Shade

Figure 42 Checking the Ears while Mirroring

Figure 43 Mirroring a Frown

Mirroring Rocky taught me about my energy levels. Rocky has a lot of energy and I had to learn to bring up the level of my energy to match his. I also had to learn to lower my energy level to match his as he relaxed. This understanding of energy in my body really helped improve our communication while riding. The following table summarizes our mirroring exercises and how I was able to start taking the lead during our activities.

Table 9 Mirroring

Phase	Rocky	ME
Observe	Just being Rocky.	Observe Rocky’s normal behaviors and his emotions. This includes his posture, head position, muscle tension, and pace. Listen to his breathing.
Match	Rocky behaves normally.	Place one hand on Rocky’s withers and mirror all of his actions.
	Head motions	Turn your head to match Rocky as he moves his head. When he bends his head down, you bend down. Shake your head when he shakes his.
	Body and Feet	Try to mimic his body and foot actions. For example, stomp your feet when he stomps his feet to shake off a fly. Paw with your hands if he paws the ground.
	Emotions	Match his emotions. Match his level of relaxation or tension. When he stares intently, you should stare intently. Be tense when he is tense.
Pace	Rocky sets the pace.	Match Rocky’s pace. This is very tiring if you have a GO horse in a large pasture with rough terrain.
Rocky in the lead	Rocky in the lead.	Do everything he does matching his emotions, breathing, energy level, and pace.
Taking the Lead	Rocky relaxed and standing still.	Match Rocky and then I start leading Rocky by moving my head down to graze. As a food oriented horse, when Rocky was standing still, I would bend my head to the ground and touch the grass with my free hand. Eventually, he started bending over to graze.
Taking the Lead	Rocky relaxed and grazing.	Match Rocky and then I put forward energy into my body without actually taking any steps and change my focus on grass in front of us to let Rocky know I wanted to move forward to another patch of grass. Rocky would naturally move forward to graze.
Taking the Lead	Rocky tense and alert while standing still.	Match Rocky and then I just relax and slowly bend my head forward until I am able to touch the ground and wait. Rocky usually releases his tension and bends his head down to match mine. Actually, he probably wants to graze but it forces him to relax and follow my lead.
Taking the Lead	Rocky on the move.	Match Rocky and then I slowly change my focus to a slightly different direction and use a slight porcupine with my hands on his withers. We drift with my focus.

Mirroring is an important part of riding preparations for us. Mirroring with the saddle on Rocky helps me understand his focus and energy levels before I get into the saddle.

Figure 44 Mirroring Before Riding

Figure 45 Mirroring Energy Level before Riding

Once you have mastered mirroring on the ground, you can do the same in the saddle. This really helps the horse follow the feel of your body language in the saddle.

Figure 46 Mirroring on the RUN

Rocky is Grumpy when Hungry

Rocky tends to exercise his dominance more when he is hungry. I’m not sure if he suffered from food scarcity or competition when he was young or if he is just naturally grumpy when he is hungry. His aggression and biting when I am near his food are gone. Now, if he frowns when I approach him with food, I just give him a stern look and if necessary point an index finger at his ears – he immediately has a friendly face.

Over time, I realized that Rocky was far more prone to acting on his dominance urges when he was hungry. Rocky grazes in the pasture all day and I put him in a paddock at night. I work full time and the only time I have to spend with Rocky during the week is after work. Unfortunately, this is usually before night feeding time in the winter and when the pasture is bad, he is really hungry. The same thing happens on the weekends if I try to work with him before his breakfast hay flakes. During the summer, there is plenty of time for him to eat dinner and have playtime before sunset. It takes us a few minutes for him to mentally adjust to our activities when he is hungry so I start with slow activities.

Rocky gets hungry when we spend the day away from home at a training camp or a playday. I have noticed that when he is hungry, he shows more aggressive ears toward the other horses. When we are in an arena and he is hungry, he pins his ears and swings his head toward the other horses. When Rocky has had a good meal, he usually ignores all of the other horses. I always make sure Rocky has a stall or quiet area to eat by himself during breaks and make sure he has enough feed so that he doesn’t get hungry.

Variety is the Spice of Life

For a dominant horse that is easily bored, the old adage “Variety is the spice of life” really rang true for Rocky. Christi taught me to add a lot of variety to our everyday activities. The following photos show some circling fun. Notice that Rocky is not angry about circling. He can focus on moving up the hills or jumping the barrels instead of letting his emotions make him angry.

Figure 47 Using Hills to Spice Up Circling

Figure 48 Using Barrels and a Chair to Spice Up Circling

It was a long journey for us to reach the point where I could sit down and trust Rocky to circle around my back without a sneak attack to bite me. Of course, we take dwell time to relax and avoid any negative emotions between circling and other tasks. Notice that I am quietly checking out his ears for any signs of tension in the photo on the right.

Figure 49 Mirroring and Dwell Time After Circling

One of the great treats for me while playing the Parelli games is to find as many excuses as I can to sit down and ask Rocky to do the games. The following photo shows me getting some rest while I YoYo Rocky through some obstacles on the 22 foot line. I am only using my index finger to ask him to backup. The rope is limp on the ground.

Figure 50 YoYo Through Obstacles while Seated

Learning to Ride

It may seem miraculous but I passed the Level 2 riding tasks riding with the Parelli bareback pad. I began using the bareback pad for two reasons: first, Rocky’s saddles didn’t’ fit well and second, I needed to learn to develop riding fluidity and rhythm.

Christi devoted time in her camps to proper and safe preparations before riding. She also devoted a lot of time to saddle fit for the horse’s health and to make sure the saddle did not restrict the horse’s movement. We experimented with different saddles and evaluated muscle tone and muscle wasting during her camps. During these activities, it became clear that my saddles did not fit Rocky properly.

Proper Preparation for Riding

Christi taught us to use a four part respect test to make sure your horse was in a good frame of mind for riding. The standard respect test involves yielding both shoulders, both hindquarters, driving the horse back and drawing them in, and making sure the horse will calmly follow you like the mare follows the foal. The following photo shows a calm Rocky quietly following me as we set up some obstacles in Christi’s arena prior to riding.

Figure 51 Rocky Calmly Following Me at Liberty in Riding Preparations

The next photo shows an eager Rocky trotting in with a quick draw in the driving game.

Figure 52 Riding Preparations Liberty Drive Back and Draw at Trot

As a GO horse, I also need to make sure Rocky does not have any emotions associated with moving faster than a walk or a slow trot. Rocky may be perfectly calm with slow activities but have some pent up emotions that only come out at a faster pace. I check out his GO emotions with faster activities; such as, running side by side with me, sending him at a trot over small obstacles, squeeze jumps over barrels, or a short circling game.

Earlier in the background chapter of this book, I listed the warning signs that worried me about Rocky before we started our Parelli lessons. One of the warning signs was what I called “Cowgirl at the rodeo”. I had several extreme bucking rides with Rocky before we started Parelli. The following photos show how Rocky can buck under saddle. He doesn’t do just one buck, but he bucks round and round the arena. These photos should help explain why I spent so much time riding Rocky in a very small paddock in Level 1.

Christi taught me to make sure Rocky was in the right frame of mind to ride before even considering getting in the saddle. She also taught me to GET OFF IMMEDIATELY if Rocky showed any of his emotional warning signs. The following table identifies the respect tests with some suggestions for helping Rocky work through his emotions.

Table 10 Riding Preparation Tests for Rocky

Respect Tests	Examples of games	Rocky Shows Emotions or is Tense
The Ears	Rub or scratch his ears	Spend some dwell time if he has tense ears or won’t let you rub or scratch his ears. Let him stand on a pedestal and scratch his underbelly. Play some slow thinking games like sideways or yoyo over an obstacle. Use porcupine backups.
Yield Hind Quarters	Online or liberty yield	Slow the pace with some friendly and porcupine. Use porcupine backup with your hand on his nose or chest. Use yoyo and back up games to engage him.
Yield Front Shoulders	Online or liberty yield	Slow the pace with some friendly and porcupine. Use yoyo and back up games to engage him.
Drive back and draw toward you	Online or liberty driving games	If he has emotional thresholds in the driving game, slow the pace with an obstacle yoyo or sideways game. If he is shows emotions during these, slow the pace with friendly and porcupine. Try porcupine backups with your hand on his nose or chest.
Stick to you	Walk around obstacles, back up, run over poles together	If he won’t stick to you or shows emotions, try some hind quarter yields and back up games with dwell time to get him to focus on you. Send him to stand on a pedestal with some dwell time.
Faster Actions	Circling, squeeze jumps, extreme friendly	Slow the pace and get him to think about a task. Use sideways, sideways over obstacles, slow figure 8 around barrels, squeeze jumps, and yoyo with dwell time or an obstacle to get Rocky to think without becoming emotional or angry.

The Storm

On this particular day in 2007, we had to work through a lot of emotions before Rocky would be calm at faster speeds. We had been playing online Parelli games like sideways without a fence and sideways over obstacles just before saddling Rocky. We played liberty games with Rocky wearing his saddle. The following photos show Rocky in two different bucking episodes as he worked out his angry emotions. When I asked Rocky to circle, he frantically moved all over the arena. He did not try to move in and attack me; he just had a lot of emotions to work out. In this session, I had to remain calm but keep him moving until he calmed down. I used direction changes to break his emotional pattern and force him to think about the new direction instead of his GO GO GO bucking.

The bucking episode in scene 1 was just the beginning of Rocky trying to work out his angry emotions. Rocky came down from bucking in scene 1 and just kept on bucking. Later in bucking scene 2, you can see the warning signs in the first photo. His buck starts with his signs of anger - lowered head, arched neck, and tense body. He then seems to explode with angry energy as shown in the other photos. I actually rode Rocky when he bucked like this before I started Parelli. Now maybe the reader can understand some of my desperation to get help and make sure Rocky was a safe horse for my daughter.

Figure 53 Bucking Under Saddle Scene 1

Rocky was not trying to attack me in these bucking episodes. We have made great strides. His energy is frantically directed toward working through his angry emotions. Rocky has a lot of energy. When I first started Parelli, it might take some time for him to calm down. Now, he doesn’t need to buck to work out his emotions, thank you Christi!!

Figure 54 Bucking Under Saddle Scene 2

Calm after the Storm

Rocky calmed down after a few minutes of these frantic emotional displays. He stopped in a corner of the arena and looked at me in the photo on the left below. He has worked out his emotions and is ready to come back to me. Because he is now calm, I let him come to me. In the photo on the right, I scratch his soft ears and check for tension while we spend some dwell time.

I was always amazed at how calm Rocky could be after his angry emotional episodes. It was like he was finally free of some demon. I had to work really hard to not become emotional with him and stay calm. He would have a hard time being calm if I were tense when he wanted to join me again. I must admit that I was terrified when Rocky did these angry emotional displays and am exceeding grateful to Christi for teaching me how to respond and help Rocky work his way through his emotions.

Figure 55 Rocky Calms down Quickly After Bucking

Christi taught me to back off to slower paced games after Rocky calmed down from his emotional bucking episodes. Rocky was at liberty and I used low pressure to ask him to weave between barrels and do small slow circles around the barrels in the next photo.

Figure 56 Slow Liberty Circles Around Barrels

We also played some slow sideways without a fence liberty games. At the time of this 2007 lesson, we were just learning sideways without a fence so I had to alternate gentle pressure on his front shoulders and hind quarters to direct his movement. Sideways is a game that helps slow a GO horse. Rocky has to concentrate on moving his feet sideways and that forces him to shift his focus from his emotions to moving his feet sideways.

Figure 57 Slow Liberty Sideways

We also played the squeeze game over some low jumps. Rocky enjoys jumping and this game gets him moving faster but keeps his mind focused on a task rather than GO or his emotions. As you can see in the following photos, his has worked through his emotions and is enjoying the jumps. You should also notice that I need very little direction at liberty to ask him to jump the obstacles.

Figure 58 Liberty Squeeze Jump

The next two photos illustrate the difference in Rocky’s body language between an emotional horse in the first photo and a calm horse circling in the second photo. The first photo was taken during the angry bucking episodes. The second photo was taken after Rocky worked through his emotions and we played the slow paced barrel circles, sideways without a fence, and squeeze jumps. In the first photo, Rocky is throwing his head wildly and his whole body is tense. In the second photo, he is calmly trotting the circle with a soft face and attentive ears. I am always amazed at how quickly Rocky can calm down and enjoy playing the games after he works out his emotions.

Figure 59 Emotional Posture during Bucking Episode

Figure 60 Calm Liberty Circles after Bucking Episodes

How did I facilitate this transformation from the wild, emotionally out of control horse to a calm Rocky? Christi taught me the techniques in the following tables. It is so easy to type the words in these tables; but, it takes time and experience to actually read Rocky’s changing emotions and then physically do the actions needed at the right time.

Table 11 Calming The Storm

Rocky’s Actions	My Goal	My Actions
Moving toward me	Safety FIRST	Keep him out of striking range. Use pressure on his front shoulders if he is circling toward me. Use driving games to keep him back. If he is online, use the lead rope to force him back. At liberty, use the carrot stick and savvy string keep him away.
Wildly Moving Around the area	Keep him moving until he works out his emotions	Keep him moving away from me. Stay relaxed while he is circling or moving. Change his direction to force him to think. Match his energy while changing his direction.
Stops but is still very emotional	Keep pressure on him until he works out his emotions	Send him in another direction. Drive him to keep moving. Match his energy levels while you are driving him.
Stops but is calm	Release teaches him this is the right answer	Let him come to you for some dwell time as a reward.
Soft ears	Keep him relaxed	After some dwell time, do some slower paced thinking activities.

After Rocky is calm and has lost his emotional demons, we spend some dwell time and then move on to some slower paced activities that require him to think about moving his feet instead of his angry emotions. My overall goal is to start slow and then move to faster paced activities while maintaining Rocky’s calm state. If he starts becoming emotional, then we have reached a threshold and I need to back off to a slower paced activity and start over. Some of these activities are described in the following table.

Table 12 Playing Games after The Storm

My Goal	Games	Activities
Re-enforce the bond.	Stick to me and mirroring	Slowly walk around with Rocky. Mirroring is a good bonding activity. I can also have Rocky stand on a pedestal.
Get Rocky to think about moving his feet and not get emotional.	Slow sideways in both directions	Slow, close activities to stay bonded. We can do a slow sideways walk in both directions or a slow yoyo.
Get Rocky to think about an obstacle instead of his emotions.	Slow figure 8 or weaving between cones. Sideways over an obstacle	I stay close to Rocky and walk with him around the obstacles. I can also send him around or through the obstacles. I can also send him sideways over an obstacle.
Picking up the pace and keeping Rocky calm.	Squeeze jumps	Squeeze jumps and other activities that get his feet moving and force him to think about the jump instead of his emotions.
Picking up the pace to make sure he won’t get emotional.	Circling	Send Rocky on a circle for only 2 or 3 laps in both directions. Dwell time between directions is a reward for staying calm.

Riding with a regular Saddle

I used a regular saddle for training camps during the first part of our Level 2 training. Christi has a gorgeous property adjacent to the Brazos River. During her camps, we took trail rides to the river. I was always pleased at how well behaved Rocky was after our proper preparations for riding. The following photos show riding with a regular saddle.

Figure 61 Learning Sideways over an Obstacle

Figure 62 Trail Riding with Saddle and Carrot Stick

Figure 63 Riding in the 4th of July Parade

Bareback Riding

I experimented with different saddles including extra wide Tennessee Walking Horse saddles and treeless saddles. None seemed to fit properly so I bought the Parelli bareback pad and began riding bareback in small arenas. When I first started riding bareback in 2005, I was amazed at how much Rocky’s front legs stretched out and moved. I could also feel the movement of Rocky’s body and legs. Obviously, the regular saddles restrained his movements.

Linda Parelli started introducing her riding with fluidity concepts in 2005 and as a novice rider, I needed to learn to develop a sense of rhythm while riding. I have never been an athletic or coordinated person and I was having a hard time learning to move with the horse. Based on our rough history, it may seem fool hardy but I decided to start riding in a small arena with the Parelli bareback pad. I always made sure Rocky was ready to ride before ever getting onto his back. Rocky and I rode as usual. Rocky would stand by the fence for me to get on his back and we rode around the arena as usual. We gradually started leaving the arena and going to the pasture to graze.

Rocky would get bored with riding in an empty space. I learned to fill our riding space with all sorts of objects just to keep him interested. The objects presented endless opportunities for sideways, circling, stopping, backing, etc. using the obstacles. The following photos were taken in 2007 during some lessons at Christi’s place. These photos were taken on the same day as the bucking episodes described earlier. The proper preparations for riding make all of the difference between a safe ride and a terrifying ride. The difference between a calm and an emotional Rocky never ceases to amaze me.

Figure 64 Riding Bareback with Obstacles

“Take the time it takes” is a common Parelli expression. It is so true with regard to helping Rocky through his emotions. He rarely has an emotional episode today because I took the time needed to help him work through his emotions.

I started riding with the bareback pad during Christi’s Level 2 horse camps in 2007. At first, it was a little scary with the other horses but it worked out very well. The number of frightening moments dwindled dramatically and we have both learned to trust one another. Initially, I was really insecure riding around other horses. If Rocky feels like his space is being crowded by other horses, he finds a comfort spot by standing quietly by the nearest fence to see if we can do something else. Rocky does not attempt to buck me off or give me runaway rides anymore. Of course, I use Proper Preparations and know how to get off if a dangerous situation presents itself to us.

Figure 65 Riding Bareback Sideways Over Obstacle

I started riding with the bareback pad during Christi’s Level 2 horse camps in 2007. At first, it was a little scary with the other horses but it worked out very well. The number of frightening moments dwindled dramatically and we have both learned to trust one another. Initially, I was really insecure riding around other horses. If Rocky feels like his space is being crowded by other horses, he finds a comfort spot by standing quietly by the nearest fence to see if we can do something else. Rocky does not attempt to buck me off or give me runaway rides anymore. Of course, I use Proper Preparations and know how to get off if a dangerous situation presents itself to us.

Figure 66 Standing Quietly

It seems like a miracle to me, but Rocky is quite happy to be calm and unemotional while we stand quietly, walk, or trot. If you compare these photos with those of Rocky during the bucking episodes, you will understand why it seems like a miracle to me! He no longer feels the need to constantly move as a way to deal with his emotions. Other horses no longer bother Rocky while we are riding.

Figure 67 Slow Walks and Trots

Rocky enjoys standing on pedestals while we are riding. He will just climb up on the pedestal and stand there. He loves it!

Figure 68 Riding on the Pedestal
Chapter 8 Parelli Horsenality Strategies

Check out http://www.parelli.com for Parelli Horsenality information and guidance. Parelli continuously adds new and interesting material on the web site.

Horsenality Leadership Strategies

I just wish Parelli had developed these strategies before Rocky joined our family. It would have saved both of us a lot of pain and tears. Rocky is a very confident and dominant left brained horse. He tends to be more introverted even though he does have quite a few extroverted characteristics. Parelli provides the Horsenality Leadership Strategies shown in the following figure.

Figure 69 Parelli Leadership Strategies[4]

Rocky definitely needs variety to be motivated. If you look at the left brained side of the Parelli Leadership Strategies, you should recognize a lot of the activities that Christi taught me to do with Rocky in Levels 1 and 2.

Variety is the spice of life. The driving, circling, and falling leaf games are examples that illustrate how Rocky is easily bored and needs variety. Christi taught me to mix the games and obstacles to create a new experience every time we play. He does not see any purpose in circling online or in a small space. I don’t have any photos of circling at Liberty in our large pasture, but Rocky absolutely loves to play at liberty in a really large natural space. I included photos of circling Rocky up and down ditches. He loves circling up and down our steep pond bank. He also shows a lot more interest and less stress when we circle obstacles.

Incentive. Rocky is definitely motivated by FOOD and scratching. He especially loves to have his ears and belly scratched.

Purpose. Yes, Rocky likes to have a purpose to his actions. I usually use food. We ride to the pasture to graze. We ride in and out of the paddocks to check out all of the food buckets. He gets to lick the buckets and feeders. Rocky needs a purpose to circling and obstacles are a good way to add purpose and variety to circling. I have chickens and Rocky helps me herd the chickens into the coop at night. We ride around the pasture to shut the gates and check the water tanks.

Figure 70 Riding with Purpose: Checking out the Feeders and Eating Hay

Figure 71 Riding with Purpose: Grazing and Herding Chickens

Parelli provides a Horsenality chart identifying difficulties and solutions for the Seven Games. The difficulties chart aptly describes many of our experiences.

Figure 72 Parelli Horsenality and the Seven Games[5]

The following table summarizes some of the general difficulties with the Seven Games as we worked our way through Levels 1 and 2.

The rest of this chapter describes some of the specific difficulties we had with the seven games. I tried to provide enough pictures for the reader to recognize the problems Rocky was having and to describe the techniques that I learned to help him overcome the difficulties.

Table 13 Left Brained Difficulties and Rocky

Left Brained Difficulties	Rocky and Janet’s Experience
Circling	We definitely had problems with circling as you have seen in the examples included in this book. It took a lot of effort for me to learn how to use an effective phase 4 when needed. Once Rocky didn’t need the phase 4, I had to learn to be sensitive and use the least amount of pressure required.
Forehand yield	It is interesting but the hindquarter yield came relatively easy compared to his forehand yield. We are still working on getting a really good forehand yield in the saddle.
Liberty	Our initial attempts at liberty were also very difficult but now liberty games are the ones we both enjoy the most. Our Level 2 experience includes some examples of Rocky being very emotional during some liberty lessons.
Back Up	Driving Rocky back brought out aggressive emotions. Check out the detailed descriptions of his sneak attacks and the frontal charges described with our “Rocky” relationship.
Porcupine Game	We had huge emotional issues with the friendly and porcupine games using the carrot stick in Level 1. We spent months doing different approach and retreat activities to overcome the issues. Our Level 1 discussion includes some detailed examples.
Moving	I spent a lot of time helping Rocky understand that he didn’t need to GO all the time – he could stand quietly and walk slowly. Our Level 1 experience discusses Slowing a GO Horse.
Draw Toward Me	Rocky usually has excellent draw. In our early days, drawing Rocky gave him an opportunity to bite. Check out the “Anatomy of a Charge” as an example of an emotional draw situation.

Interrupting Old Patterns

Interrupting the pattern of behavior is a common approach to handling difficult situations by changing the current focus to something else. A new mom quickly learns ways to redirect her toddler’s attention to another activity. A successful salesman knows how to analyze his customers and focus their attention to the product he wants to sell. Direction changes help a horse calm down by forcing them to think and focus on something else. I learned to change the pattern of Rocky’s movement to calm him by forcing him to think.

Circling Challenges

Circling still presents a challenge for us at times, but I am now prepared to help Rocky work out his emotions, calm down, and be a safe horse. During a Christi camp in 2009, Rocky was unhappy with circling in a small arena while we were practicing lead changes. Send on the circle started out fine but then Rocky became tense with his head lowered, started snorting, and his nostrils flared on the first lap.

I used pressure on his front shoulders to keep him circling at a safe distance. I used frequent direction changes to force him to think and calm down. He became calmer each time he changed direction. Rocky was not allowed to stop until he was doing a calm circle. After some dwell time, we played falling leaf in the pasture to practice more direction changes. The following photos show our progression through the whole process of circling in a small pen and advancing to falling leaf in an adjacent pasture.

Figure 73 Rocky Starting out on the Circle

Rocky started out on the circle and immediately started to show signs of discontent and anger. You can see his head start to bend down and his ears start to go back. The photo does not show how tense his whole head becomes and his eyes develop a hard glaring stare that is hard to describe. He starts to look like he wants to explode with angry energy. These are signs of impending acts of aggression. When Rocky enters this temperament, his old pattern of behavior was to move close enough so he could either bite or rear up. Christi taught me to use effective phases to manage Rocky when he shows these signs of aggression. I had learned to send a wave of energy down the lead rope and use the carrot stick to put pressure on his shoulder to get him to stay on a bigger circle and not drift toward me while he works out his emotions.

Figure 74 An Emotional Rocky on the Circle

Figure 75 Keeping Rocky at a Safe Distance on the Circle

Looking at these photos, it may be hard to believe but Rocky is now very sensitive to how much pressure I put on him. If I push him out on a wider circle holding the carrot stick pointing up it puts more pressure on him than if I hold the carrot stick down. Holding it down is like a little “shoo away” whereas holding it up is more like “get away NOW”. In the above photo, Rocky wasn’t quickly moving in toward me so I used less pressure to avoid an escalation in his level of aggression.

Figure 76 Waiting to Change Directions on the Circle

Direction changes interrupt his pattern of behavior and help Rocky calm down by forcing him to think. He usually calms down with each change in the pattern of his movement.

Figure 77 Calmer After a Direction Change on the Circle

Falling Leaf Challenges

After a few minutes of circling with direction changes in the small arena, we went to the pasture to play falling leaf to practice direction changes and further interrupt Rocky’s frantic circling pattern by only using semi-circles. Falling leaf is a game of semi-circles with a direction change at each end of the semi-circle. You basically send the horse on a semi-circle in front of you. When the horse reaches one side, you make him change direction and circle the opposite direction in front of you. You move forward across the pasture as the horse does semi-circles in front of you. The direction changes force the horse to focus on the direction change which in turn helps Rocky calm down.

Figure 78 Starting Falling Leaf

Figure 79 Stress during Direction Changes

Figure 80 Keeping a Safe Distance during Falling Leaf

Figure 81 More Stress during Direction Changes

When he refused to complete a direction change, I would have to apply pressure to his front shoulders to convince him to continue in the arc. We stopped the falling leaf pattern after a couple of successful direction changes. We spent some dwell time after a few stressful minutes of the circling and falling leaf patterns. Notice the carrot stick is between us just in case but Rocky’s face is now relaxed and his eyes are soft.

Figure 82 Refusing to Change Direction

Figure 83 Dwell Time after Falling Leaf

Proper Riding Preparation

I learned a lot about making sure Rocky is ready to ride before even considering getting onto his back. On this day, Rocky enjoyed being groomed and saddled. We do the Parelli four part respect test as part of our preparations to ride. The four parts are driving the horse backwards, yielding both hind quarters, yielding both front shoulders, and “stick to me” getting the horse to follow you like a foal follows the mare. Rocky was fine with yielding and following but he wasn’t happy about being driven backwards so we did some YoYo and sideways as slow (NO GO) activities and moved to short circling games with direction changes. You can see that he is unhappy circling in this photo.

Figure 84 Unhappy Circling before Riding

Even though Rocky is not happy about circling, he is not making any aggressive actions to move in toward me. Rocky can be a GO horse on the circle and changing directions a lot forces him to think and calm down. I can also wiggle the lead rope gently to slow his pace. The next photo shows Rocky doing a slow, calm tight circle.

Figure 85 Slow Happy Circle before Riding

We both enjoyed some dwell time after Rocky calmed down. I got off of the pedestal and he climbed onto the pedestal with his front feet. He enjoys relaxing on the pedestal. What is in it for the left brained introvert? He is hoping for a good belly rub.

Figure 86 Dwell Time and Communication before Riding

Sideways is a good slow activity to get Rocky prepared for riding. Basically, Rocky and I go for a sideways walk. Rocky has to think about moving his feet instead of any negative emotions he may be experiencing at the current time. The following photos show a slow sideways walk without a fence. It takes very little pressure to ask Rocky to move sideways and keep him moving sideways in front of me. I am not using the rope or the carrot stick. I am simply walking and directing my energy for him to move sideways. He is calm and paying attention to my body language as we walk through the other horses and people in the arena.

Figure 87 Sideways Walk Riding Preparation

Chapter 9 Parelli Level 3

In December 2008, we officially passed the old Level 2 that had online, liberty, freestyle riding, and finesse riding tasks. Parelli released the Levels Pathways in 2009 and we began using the Pathways for Level 3. In the Levels Pathways, Level 1 is online only, Level 2 is online and freestyle riding, and Level 3 is online, liberty, and freestyle riding.

Level 3 introduces a 45 foot lead rope for the online tasks. The official auditions for Level 3 online let you use either the 22 or 45 foot ropes. I used the 22 foot for our audition tapes. The 45 foot rope is not a soft lead rope like the 12 and 22 foot lead ropes used in Levels 1 and 2. This is a rough rope that requires special handling to make it coil and uncoil correctly. I am still working on my 45 foot rope skills.

My real challenge is not with Rocky – it is learning to handle the stiff rope and recoil it correctly. Christi has us do a lot of exercises with the rope just to learn how to use it. These are beneficial but I need to practice enough to develop muscle memory and a new strength in my wrists and arms. I also need to learn new techniques to use the stiff rope effectively to communicate with Rocky without putting too much pressure on him.

Driving with the 45 foot Line

The following photo shows us learning to drive from zone 5 with the 45 foot line. Zone 5 is behind the horse. Notice how calm Rocky is. Where is the carrot stick? The savvy string and end of the carrot stick are resting on the ground as I feed out the rope and use gentle motions to keep him moving. I am asking Rocky to move and he wants to move.

Figure 88 Driving from Zone 5

Sideways with the 45 foot Line

The next photo shows us starting to learn to do the sideways game with the 45 foot line. Notice that I don’t need a lot of carrot stick direction to keep him moving sideways. I started him moving sideways with a little pressure on his front and back. He kept moving as I fed out the rope and then walked with him.

Figure 89 Sideways with the 45 Foot Line

Jumping with the 45 foot Line

Rocky loves to jump. He jumps over ditches in our pasture when he is out on his own. He jumps over the obstacles that litter his paddock when I put him up at night. The following photos show Rocky jumping logs on the 45 foot line. Notice that I don’t need a lot of carrot stick direction and in fact the carrot stick is resting on the ground. My big challenge is keeping the long rope out of Rocky’s way as he trots into the jumps. I also have to work hard to make sure the rope doesn’t get caught on the natural obstacles in the pasture.

Figure 90 Jumping Fun with Logs

Figure 91 Jumping Logs with the 45 foot line

In the following photo, you can see the coils in the 45 foot line as it litters the ground around us. You should also notice that the carrot stick is no longer between us during dwell time after a jumping session using the 45 foot line. Rocky is happy.

Figure 92 Dwell Time and Mirroring after Jumping

Falling Leaf

Do you remember the earlier photos of our circling and falling leaf challenges? We still occasionally have an emotional circling episode but they are no longer a common occurrence. The following photos show how much calmer Rocky has become and how much less pressure I must use in our falling leaf sessions.

In the following photo, Rocky has on the bareback pad and we are exercising before we ride in the arena.

Figure 93 Slow Falling Leaf

The following falling leaf game was part of a Level 3 camp where we are preparing to use the 45 foot line. We practiced using the 22 foot line first and then moved on the 45 foot line. You can see how much energy Rocky has in the photos. He doesn’t show any signs of aggression or other negative emotions – Rocky is enjoying the falling leaf run.

Figure 94 Energetic Direction Change in Falling Leaf

Figure 95 Asking for the Turn

Figure 96 Rocky Calm after the Turn

Figure 97 Calm after Falling Leaf

Circling on the 45 foot line

My biggest challenge with circling using the 45 foot line is the rope itself. I am still learning to feed the rope out on the send and pull it back in on the draw for the bigger circles. Rocky seems to like the freedom of the longer rope. I have a hard time keeping the rope untangled and out of our way. The following sequence of photos show 2 circling game sequences on the 45 foot line at a Christi Level 3 camp in 2009.

Figure 98 Rocky Circling on 45 foot line

Rocky is calm on the circle and enjoying it. In the next photo, he is shown just after a direction change. He is usually energetic with a direction change on the circle. In a lot of the past photos, you saw a very angry and aggressive Rocky on the circle and especially with direction changes. He is full of energy in this photo but not angry about circling.

Figure 99 Change of Direction on the Circle

In the following photo, we had just finished another direction change and I dropped the 45 foot line. Rocky kept circling while I tried to pick it up and get it out of his way so he didn’t trip on it. Notice how energetic and happy he looks on the circle compared to the earlier circling examples.

Figure 100 Rocky Circling

The next photo shows my poor 45 foot line skills as we move through the trees. Notice my feet are trying to keep up with his front feet and mirror them. He is full of energy and wants to keep moving. Rocky is annoyed with my rope handling and has his ears back a little to show his annoyance but he is not showing any signs of aggression.

Figure 101 My Poor Rope Skills

The next photo shows a calm Rocky on the circle after I got control of the rope again.

Figure 102 Circling on the 45 Foot Line

Rocky was calm after the circling games and in the next photo he is looking at me asking “what are we doing next?” He didn’t have any negative emotions about circling on the 45 foot line. Rocky likes to do circles around a big pasture. The photos you see here were taken at a Christi camp where the pasture has a lot of trees. Our pasture at home has some wide open spaces between the trees. Rocky and I do what I call “circle walks” in the open pasture. Circle walks are like falling leaf only with full circles instead of arcs. I send Rocky on a circle and walk forward as he circles me. We do change of directions and keep walking. He finds this more interesting and fun than circling in one spot. Plus, when we reach the end of the open area, he gets to graze on the good grass there.

Figure 103 Rocky Calm after Circling

We spent some dwell time after the circling games. During dwell time, I still mirror his calm posture and focus. You will notice how calm Rocky is and that the carrot stick no longer needs to be between us.

Figure 104 Dwell Time after Circling

On Line Games

We play a lot of games in Level 3. For the on line games, my biggest challenge is no longer communicating with Rocky but keeping the 22 and 45 foot lead ropes out of our way as we play with obstacles. I feel really clumsy with the lines, especially when the weather is cold or the lines are covered with mud.

I am asking Rocky to weave between cones in the following photo. Notice how I am gently nudging him with the carrot stick. The stick is pointed down and I am just gently wiggling it to indicate he should move his hind quarters. This is less pressure than a stick pointed up in the air and toward him.

Figure 105 Asking Rocky to Weave Cones

The following photo shows yoyo through an obstacle course on the 22 foot line. Remember the phases for yoyo are Phase 1, wiggle your index finger without wiggling the rope. The rope is resting on the ground and not moving. Rocky is intently watching and responding to my request to backup by wigging my index finger.

Figure 106 YoYo through Obstacles

Liberty is OUR Game

After we moved to the country in 2006 and lived with Rocky, I started doing everything with him at liberty. We discovered the fun of playing in the pasture without a halter and lead rope. I would send him around trees, circle, and jog with him up and down the sides of ditches and through the pasture to get to the good grass. We would walk to his paddock at night for feed, stopping at every gate. I would use liberty YoYo to back him through all of the gates. He would get either a treat or a scratch as his reward.

Figure 107 Friendly Reward during Liberty

Rocky loves getting scratched on his belly, neck, and ears. This is a major reward for him and it really calms him down. I always scratch Rocky before we do any activities. His ears let me know if he is tense. I play with him at liberty in the pasture all of the time. We use “stick to me” games to go hunting for the best grass to eat and I just stand with him while he eats. This really helps us play the Parelli liberty games.

In the following photo, Rocky runs through the cone pattern with me. I stay on one side of the cones and he weaves the cone pattern as we run at liberty. Notice that my legs are mirroring his front legs. I use subtle hand gestures to tell him when to weave.

Figure 108 Liberty Running through the Cones

In the following photo, we are weaving the cones again. My job is to stay on one side of the cones and guide Rocky to weave the cones at a walk or trot.

Figure 109 Liberty Coaxing Rocky through Cones

We spend a lot of time mirroring one another at liberty. In the following photo we are both running through the obstacles and Rocky is going to jump the barrel while I run beside him. I jump the shorter obstacles with him. I run beside him and jump in the air when he jumps the taller obstacles that I can’t jump.

Figure 110 Liberty Barrel Jumping

Rocky just loves to stand on pedestals. Whenever I use poor body language to communicate or he doesn’t know what I want, he will go stand on the pedestal if one is available. Of course, as a left brained horse, what is in the pedestal for him? He is hoping for some dwell time with a belly scratch or maybe a treat.

In the following photo, Rocky is looking at his reflection in the dressage mirror at the end of the arena. Rocky loves looking into that mirror. He is a real ham. The image of the other horse never bothers Rocky, he just looks at it. When we ride by the mirror, he always swings his head to check and make sure that other horse is still there.

Figure 111 Rocky on Pedestal

Figure 112 Bonding with Rocky on Pedestal

Carrot Stick and Bridleless Riding

In Level 3, we started learning to use the carrot stick for communication during riding. We also started using the savvy string around Rocky’s neck to ride bridleless. We started by using a carrot stick to re-enforce my body language. My body language is to use “eyes, body, legs, and then carrot stick” to tell Rocky where I want to go before either picking up the reins or using the carrot stick. Later, we started riding without the carrot stick and using just the savvy string around Rocky’s neck.

The following photos were taken in the summer of 2010. We were playing a carrot stick riding game where you use the carrot stick to get rings off of bracket on the fence.

Figure 113 Playing Games while Carrot Stick Riding

The following photos show us practicing freestyle riding, jumping, and carrying tarps while riding bareback. We practiced riding with and without the carrot stick. Rocky has a savvy string around his neck. In the photos, I am learning to use my body to communication more that the savvy string.

Figure 114 Freestyle Riding

Figure 115 Freestyle Jumping

Level 3 Assessments

Level 3 has self assessments and official audition assessments using video tapes. In the Parelli Levels Pathways, Level 3 has three areas of assessment: Online, Liberty, and Freestyle riding. Once you have completed all of the tasks in the Official Self Assessment, you create a 10 minute video for that area of assessment. Each area has a list of compulsory tasks and the video should show you and your horse doing those compulsory tasks. The Parelli team reviews the audition tape and offers advice for any areas where you need more practice to achieve a Level 3 competency.

I made our Level 3 Online, Liberty, and Freestyle audition tapes using a camera mounted on a tripod in a second floor window of our house. I recorded playing with Rocky every night for several weeks and cut out 10 minute sections that seemed to show most of the compulsory tasks needed for the Liberty and Online auditions. We passed Liberty with the first audition tape. I had to submit a second Online audition tape showing more subtle directions at the end of the 22 foot line. We passed Online with the second audition tape.

We passed the Level 3 OnLine and Liberty assessments in December 2010. Freestyle riding was a challenge for completing Level 3. Rocky has a fantastic TWH rocking chair canter, but the transition into the canter is very rough. We worked really hard on maintaining gait and direction, especially at the canter and transitions from the canter to a trot. Rocky is a GO horse and when we start cantering, he gets excited and wants to GO GO GO. He is not being aggressive in any way, he is just happy to be going. After cantering, it takes a few minutes to slow him down for other activities. Once we start cantering, he thinks cantering is the answer to everything until we stop and spend a few minutes of dwell time. We practiced transition tasks, walk – trot – canter – trot – walk, to improve our skills with transitions and maintaining gait.

We passed the Level 3 Freestyle assessment in July 2011 riding bareback and bridleless!

Chapter 10 Retrospection

Stress is a Killer

Just imagine, the horse stands 15 ½ hands at the shoulder (his shoulder is taller than you) and weighs in at 1100 pounds. He is 20 feet in front of you and facing you.  You have just sent him there, hoping for a few seconds of dwell time to collect your thoughts in the hot sun and wipe the stinging sweat from your eyes.  His tail suddenly makes a quick swish and he simultaneously pins his tense ears back, his eyes roll, his nostrils tense up, and he charges directly at you.  What do you do? 

He was only 20 feet away and now he is closing in fast. His first giant stride puts him halfway to you. You can’t run – he would be on top of you with his next powerful stride. You don’t have time to shorten the lead rope.  You pivot into a power position with both feet firmly on the ground, bend your knees slightly, and lower your center of gravity.  You try to send a wave of energy down the lead rope as you swing the carrot stick into position between you and the charging horse.  Once the carrot stick is making a barrier between you and the charging horse, you put a determined look on your face and vigorously march toward the horse.  Remember to keep making the carrot stick barrier and as you advance shorten the lead rope, if you can.  When he sees the carrot stick won’t let him bite you, he tries to rear and use his front hooves. You stretch up to raise the carrot stick barrier up to match his height and keep moving toward him. You can make a barrier to match his rearing height with your arm reach and the 4 foot long carrot stick. He pivots to your left side to avoid the carrot stick barrier and swings around to face you. He is ready to continue the dominance battle. You give him a stern warning look and firmly hold the carrot stick ready for his next move. This event took less than 5 seconds but it seemed like an eternity to you. He doesn’t like it but you won this round of the dominance game.

Why did Rocky back down from the carrot stick barrier and the energy in the lead rope? Let’s face it – he could easily bite me or knock me over. His past patterns were to bite me or to grab the stick and run away with it. What changed? On several occasions, he has galloped head first into the carrot stick wall as the metal buckle of the lead rope banged into his chin. If he had not backed down, this would have happened again and again until he backed away. This is my effective phase 4 for a charging Rocky. He knew I had an effective phase 4 and would not hesitate to use it.

I know most people cannot possibly understand the stress and frustration of living with a horse that you fear will physically hurt someone. With Rocky, I quickly entered a mode of being on constant guard. Rocky had proven that he was not afraid to carry out a frontal attack and I could not turn my back to him because he would attack from the rear. This kind of stress is absolutely exhausting, both physically and emotionally. There is no break or relief – the stress is with you whether you are with the horse or not.

I took all the steps a sane, rational person would to deal with the situation. I immediately started educating myself and seeking help from an expert. I began the Parelli home training program and sought expert guidance from a trained Parelli instructor. I followed the curriculum and guidance. I attended many seminars and training camps to get as much knowledge and help as I could to improve my horsemanship skills and train Rocky. And it still took me 3 years to stop Rocky’s biting and attempts to bite!

Life Begins with an Effective Phase 4

The real turning point in my relationship with Rocky happened when I finally matured enough in my understanding of Rocky to have an effective phase 4 that Rocky could understand and I could use it at the right time. As Christi says “Timing is Everything”. Christi did an excellent job teaching me the concepts and helping me develop the skills for an effective phase 4. However, I had to learn to read each situation and choose the correct response. Of course, while I was learning so was Rocky! Every time I learned new techniques, Rocky came up with his own new approaches to counter them.

There was a period of time when I moved too quickly from phase 1 to phase 4 and it was detrimental to our budding relationship. Once I understood enough about using effective phases, I starting moving too quickly through the phases to phase 4 and it would further aggravate Rocky. I had to learn to give him a chance to respond with less pressure before increasing the pressure. Once Rocky realized I could deliver effective phases, I had to learn to trust Rocky and my ability to respond effectively if needed. This was a long process for both of us.

This sound so easy doesn’t it? I will always remember one of the first Parelli articles I read. It was in the October 2004 Savvy Times. The article was about biting and how it is the humans fault if the horse bites them. This is a great article and I agree with the premise of the article but I must admit I nearly gave up so many times. I never thought it would take SO LONG to get to the point that Rocky stopped biting!

The article also made me realize that Rocky must have been hit frequently in the past in response to his acts of dominance. When he bit me for the first time, I stepped away in shock and did nothing. Later when he bit again and I (under the advice of the 30 second rule) slapped his neck in response, I was shocked at the level of aggression he exhibited. It became obvious to me that Rocky was familiar with this response and fully expected to escalate his aggression in response. I unknowingly set the stage for our future battles.

Trust Takes TWO

The reason that I am discussing the amount of stress caused by his biting and the time I spent learning to help Rocky stop biting is to set the stage for one of my biggest challenges. How could I ever truly trust Rocky after all the bites and dominance attacks?

Honestly, if Rocky were a human being with these past behaviors and physical attacks, could you trust him and be his partner? I firmly believe in the sanctity of life and that all living creatures deserve to be treated with the respect and dignity due their kind. Rocky stretched these beliefs beyond any limits that I could ever imagine.

Of course, I have been presenting my views and fears. What about Rocky? He was four years old when he joined our family and I have no idea what he experienced during those four years. Over time, I came to realize that Rocky must have developed his extreme dominance and aggressive behavior toward people before I met him. He had obviously been conditioned over time to respond to humans by biting and escalating acts of aggression until the humans left him alone. He obviously saw me as a human to be driven away. How could Rocky ever trust me?

Respect Does Not Transfer

Rocky’s respect for one human does not transfer to another human. Christi demonstrated many rope and carrot stick handling skills using Rocky in our training sessions. I immediately saw that Rocky respected Christi and responded with respect to her use of the tools and techniques. This RESPECT DOES NOT TRANSFER to other people holding the lead rope and carrot stick. I had to earn Rocky’s respect by learning the skills and applying them properly. This means learning effective phases for every situation.

This caused a lot of bumps in our “rocky” relationship in Parelli Levels 1 and 2. Rocky and I would attend a training camp and I would feel so good about our progress. After a few days, our relationship would start to deteriorate because Rocky would challenge me in new and different ways. I had to learn to adapt what I learned to respond effectively. This is basically what Rocky was doing, he came away from our training camp with a new respect for Christi and me; but, being a very dominant left brained horse, he was thinking of new ways to test my skills and challenge me in the dominance games.

Personal Lessons Learned

I personally learned a lot of important lessons in my natural horsemanship detour. I have always viewed life as a journey to be enjoyed. I discovered how difficult the journey can be when you are in constant fear of acts of aggression by another, unable to let down your guard, and unsure if you have the skill to protect yourself.

Learning is easy for me as a life-long learner in my profession, hobbies, and personal development. Learning horsemanship skills was a huge challenge that required a physical, mental, and emotional commitment over an extended period of time. I started the Natural Horsemanship journey totally unprepared for these commitments and the amount of time required to help Rocky overcome his issues.

Getting help from an expert also came easily for me. I am a firm believer in getting advice and help when you need it. I didn’t have an ego to keep me from seeking help. Finding the right expert is not easy. I am exceedingly fortunate to have found an expert (Christi Rains) willing to spend so much quality time helping me.

I found ways to not get discouraged. My husband has often said that I should be used as the definition of optimism in the dictionary but it was not easy with the challenges posed by Rocky. I really had to work hard to find ways to see progress and keep going. My solace was always in lesson #1 – life is a journey to be enjoyed and then I would try to identify and focus on small successes.

Sharing my personal feelings is not easy for me. For the longest time, I assumed my problems with Rocky were totally my fault and I didn’t know how to share his behavior and the extent of my fears with anyone. I perceived the situation as my failure because I couldn’t find any information anywhere about anyone that seemed to have similar problems with their horse. I absolutely hate it when I am told “no one else has this problem so it must be you”. The Parelli Horsenality information helped me recognize Rocky’s behavior as natural horse behavior albeit extreme left brain dominant behavior. I decided to write this book so others could realize their situation is not hopeless and hopefully help by providing some useful information about the techniques that worked for Rocky and me.

Horse and Human Partnership Lessons Learned

I learned a lot of important lessons about the Horse and Human partnership. I learned:

to understand Rocky and walked quite a few miles in his hoofs,

what Rocky likes and doesn’t like,

to listen to what Rocky’s expression and body language was telling me.

To some extent, I learned to think like a horse.

I came to realize that Rocky watches me constantly with his eyes and his ears. Sometimes, his attention is so subtle that I hardly notice it. He also senses my body with his. Rocky anticipates my actions based on subtle cues that I didn’t realize I was giving him. I learned to focus my cues for more effective communication with Rocky.

I learned to use effective communication skills with my body language and apply different phases of pressure. I learned to pace our activities to match Rocky’s needs. A partnership requires both parties to communicate and look out for the other partner. I learned to be the leader and partner that Rocky needed.

I realized Rocky was learning with me and I had to adapt to a constantly changing horse. I learned to use my evolving horse knowledge to keep pace with Rocky’s growth and to adapt my communication skills to match his changing needs.

I learned how to trust my horse partner and myself. Your partner just wants to survive and live with the dignity due him. Rocky is a herd animal and knows he needs a partner – I learned to be the partner he needs.

Parelli’s Eight Responsibilities

In Level 2, Christi spent a lot of time explaining Parelli’s eight responsibilities for the

horse and human partners. Rocky’s responsibilities as the horse are:

1. Don’t act like a prey animal.

2. Don’t change gait.

3. Don’t change direction.

4. Look where you are going.

My responsibilities as the human are:

1. Don’t act like a predator.

2. Have an independent seat.

3. Think like a horse.

4. Use the natural power of focus.

Rocky never really behaved like a prey animal – he is a dominant animal full of confidence and refused to be anything else. Parking is the one instance where I now realize Rocky behaved like a prey animal. In the beginning of our relationship, Rocky would stretch out into a full Tennessee Walking Horse (TWH) park pose and stay frozen there with a totally different look on his face. He seemed to park when he was frustrated. When he parked, Rocky had a totally different demeanor than his normal aggressive confident dominance attitude. By now, I have seen a lot of horses in training camps and at playdays. I have learned to recognize horses switching to “right brained” when they roll their eyes so you can see the white of their eyes. The only time I have ever seen Rocky roll his eyes with a right brained switch was in those early days when he would stretch out into his TWH park pose. He stopped doing this during our Level 2 activities.

Don’t change gait and don’t change direction are hard for a dominant horse who wants to take charge all the time. We are still working on don’t change gait or direction while we are riding. I used Linda Parelli’s ideas about being the ambassador of “YES” instead of always saying “NO”. Rocky is always interested in grazing if there is anything to eat. We spend a lot of time taking turns to pick the grazing spot. Rocky is always the winner because he gets to eat but he has to let me pick the grazing spot 50% of the time. When it is my turn to pick the grazing spot, I get to pick the direction, how far we go, and how fast we get there. I let him pick the spot by just being a passenger when he is in charge.

Look where you are going. This one is pretty easy for Rocky. He is confident and always aware of where he is going and wants to go. Of course, I had to learn not to nag him and let him actually do this. For example, we ride up and down ditches and our pond bank. I had to learn to let Rocky pick the best path up and down the slopes instead of nagging him with little corrections every few feet.

I try really hard to not act like a predator, but of course, I don’t always succeed. After we got over our original “rocky” relationship, I acted more like a predator at times than a partner because I didn’t trust Rocky and used too much pressure on him. I had to learn effective phases and how to use the least amount of pressure possible. Now I let Rocky set the pace and use pressure accordingly.

Riding is a new adventure for me and I am still working on an independent seat. I started riding bareback so I could learn to feel Rocky’s movement and synchronize with it. I have a poor sense of rhythm and riding bareback has helped a lot. I really enjoy Linda Parelli’s fluidity lessons on the DVDs and they have helped me immensely.

I have tried hard to learn to think like a horse. Parelli devotes a lot of time to anthropomorphism where people tend to think about horses in terms of human emotions and traits. I grew up around a lot of animals and have always realized that each species has certain innate characteristics and that each individual has their own personality. I have always tried to think of Rocky as a horse and understand his horse perspective. Parelli’s Horsenality theories and Christi’s experience really helped me understand Rocky. I spent a lot of time mirroring Rocky so I could learn to see life through his eyes, body language, and emotions. We still spend a lot of time mirroring.

I am still learning to use the natural power of focus. Mirroring on the ground really helped me understand Rocky’s power of focus and synchronize with him. Riding is the area where I am trying to master focus using “eyes, belly button, leg, and then reins or carrot stick” to guide Rocky.

Epilogue

Figure 116 Partners at last

My Partner, Rocky

Rocky is half of our horse and human partnership. I learned volumes about him on our natural horsemanship journey. Rocky has a huge heart full of hope and forgiveness. He naturally forgave all my mistakes along the way. After we got over our initial “rocky” relationship, Rocky was a different horse. He seemed to have lost a lot of old emotional baggage and now starts each day as a new beginning without any animosity about past human mistakes. Instead of waiting for me with his “I am ready to beat you in the dominance games” full face stare, he eagerly runs to greet me to see what the new day has to offer us. This one change has made all of the sweat and tears worthwhile.

Rocky is proud and rightly so. He knows his jobs with the games we play and the tasks we do around the ranch. He hates being asked with too much pressure or nagged. He wants me to be direct when I ask him and then let him do his job. Rocky has a well developed sense of justice and fairness. If I ask him with too much pressure, he gives me a look that lets me know that I was unfair. If I use poor communication and he isn’t sure what I want, he has a quizzical look that lets me know he doesn’t understand.

Rocky is obviously the undisputed alpha of our small horse herd and the pasture. He is a gentle and dedicated alpha protecting his herd against all of the local predators. We have coyotes, bobcats, and mountain lions that move through our pasture to get to the wildlife management area adjacent to our property. Rocky protects “his partner” as we calmly ride bareback in the pasture that is his domain. Rocky is happy living the life of a horse.

Parelli Horsenality Positive Attributes

Rocky enjoys life and is finally happy. The following Parelli Horsenality Positive Attributes chart shows where I would rate Rocky today. Red checkmarks denote Rocky’s characteristics. I rated him moderate for athletic instead of extreme to indicate that he wants to know what is in it for him before he expends the energy. He can still be a GO horse that doesn’t tire easily but he is a slow horse when I ask him to be a slow horse. Rocky is so willing to do whatever I ask that I believe Rocky has become an “all-round” horse in our partnership.

Figure 117 Parelli Horsenality Positive Attributes Chart[6]

Fun activities

We attended a “Dancing with Horses” clinic with the Equus Projects dancers (http://www.dancingwithhorses.org/) in 2009. Rocky and I both had a lot of fun. It was a very different experience for both of us. We did a lot of simulations and activities on the ground to develop and improve our sense of balance and rhythm. I learned a lot about my posture and flowing with Rocky while we ride.

“Eyes, belly button, legs, and finally the reins” is the Parelli approach to using our body to let the horse know where we want to go. I developed a better understanding of my own body and areas where I needed to improve my flexibility so I could improve my communications with Rocky.

Figure 118 Mirroring with a Dancer

The dancers helped us learn to listen to our horse’s rhythm and develop ways to naturally flow with our horse. The dancers use mirroring and other natural horsemanship techniques to help us improve our human communication with horses. We practiced a new kind of mirroring. We (Rocky and I) learned to mirror the dancers instead of one another during the clinic. It was a unique and rewarding experience.

Rocky had a lot of fun! As a left brained introvert who is easily bored, it was a totally different experience for Rocky. He is quite happy and intrigued in these photos.

Figure 119 The Equus Projects Experience

Rocky, Enjoying Life as a Horse

The following photos show Rocky just enjoying himself. Rocky is finally a happy horse.

Figure 120 Freedom in the Snow

Figure 121 Freedom in the Pasture

Figure 122 Happy Ears Say it ALL

Figure 123 Enjoying a Moonlit Ride behind our House

I enjoy stargazing and spend a lot of time just hanging out with Rocky at night so we can both enjoy the night sky. Sometimes I saddle him with the bareback pad and just spend quiet time sitting with him.

Figure 124 Rocky with his Herd

A Portrait of Partners

Figure 125 Portrait of Partners

Our Parelli Certificates

Figure 126 Parelli Level 1 Certificate

Figure 127 Parelli Level 2 Certificate

Figure 128 Parelli Level 3 Liberty Certificate

Figure 129 Parelli Level 3 Online Certificate

Figure 130 Parelli Level 3 Freestyle Certificate

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[1] Charts are available from Parelli website http://www.parelli.com

[2] Charts are available from Parelli website http://www.parelli.com

[3] Photo from Parelli website http://www.parelli.com.

[4] Charts are available from http://www.parelli.com

[5] Charts are available from http://www.parelli.com

[6] Chart available at http;//www.parelli.com